I need Jesus and a little caffeine

Ya’ll, I love John Waller. I just discovered his music after hearing one of his songs in the movie Fireproof. (Great movie, by the way!)

“A whole lotta Jesus and a little caffeine, you are my Awakening!”

All we need is Jesus! (and maybe some caffeine!)

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We live in such a fallen world. The church shooting in Antioch, TN yesterday broke my heart.  Who walks into a church and starts shooting?? *sigh* Satan is really trying his hardest, isn’t he? But you know? In the end, he loses. So he might as well just give up.

“It is finished! The battle is over! It is finished! There’ll be no more war! It is finished, the end of the conflict! It is finished and Jesus is LORD!” (This song is currently playing. Gives me chills every time I hear it!)

It is finished! Just remember this. This world is going to continue to get worse. But we have Christ! The battle is already won!

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Tired

It’s been a long week. I haven’t slept much this entire week. A few hours at a time at best. I’ve been in pain from a tooth that needs extracting but since I don’t have insurance, or a job at the moment, I can’t see a dentist because they won’t work with me on payments. So luckily I had some  penicillin left over from something else so I’m going to take that and ibuprofen. Hopefully I’ll get some relief soon. Because toothaches are one of the worst pains ever! I’d rather have my broken collarbone again. Or a kidney stone.

I also don’t do well with pain so I may be exaggerating some, lol. But pain is just not something I deal well with. Never have. Never will.

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I’m reading a book called The Christian Atheist:Believing in God but Living as if He Doesn’t Exist. It’s by Craig Groeschel.

Ya’ll….it’s good! Definitely steps on my toes. A question he poses, “Are you putting your whole faith in God but living as if everything is up to you?” has really gotten me to thinking.

I find myself wondering if I’m living like this. I won’t lie, I struggle with whether or not I’m even saved sometimes.  But another quote I came across (in a different book) actually made sense to me. “…the struggle itself is proof that God is very close to us…..it is a sign of our salvation. There would be no inner battle if we were truly lost.”

Think about it. If we struggle with our sin and wonder about our salvation we really have nothing to worry about because that “struggle” within us is the Holy Spirit convicting us. It’s when we stop becoming remorseful that we need to be concerned. When we can sin and it doesn’t even bother  us…..that’s when we have a problem.

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Verse of the Day: Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

“If only I could see me as You see me….

….and understand the way that I am loved.”

I don’t know if you have heard this song by Mandisa but it’s beautiful.

“You say lovely, I say broken

I say guilty, You say forgiven.

“Oh I feel lonely, YOu say You’re with me.

We both know it would change everything

If only I believed the truth about me.”

Mandisa has some great songs but this one sticks with me. Time and time again I struggle with why God would choose to love someone like me. And I think we all do that. We all tend to think that our sin is too much for Him to forgive. We aren’t worthy of his love. So why would God choose us?

Because that’s who He is. He’s a merciful God who looks past our insecurities, past our doubts. He loves us unconditionally.

That’s a promise. 🙂

Verse of the day: 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.”

 

Opening Up

So most of my family and friends know that writing has always been a passion of mine. But for years I squashed the idea that I could ever do anything with this passion so I stopped writing altogether. I couldn’t seem to get anything GOOD down on paper. I couldn’t get the words out in the way my brain was telling me to. Ugh.

But then last week after doing my devotions the flood gates opened. I knocked out a poem in about 5 minutes tops. That’s not unusual, I used to pop out a poem in minutes. Don’t know how I do it. The words just flow and I get in that groove and everything is great!

Trouble is….if no one is reading my work then what’s the point? So I’m going to share a poem I wrote just this past Saturday. I’ve NEVER shared any of my work like this. Only my mom has read stuff I write.

I’m very critical of my writing (who wouldn’t be, right?) so don’t be too harsh, lol. And I know it’s a little rough around the edges. I need to do some touching up. But I wanted some people to read it and let me know what they think. 🙂

Which Will It Be?

Standing here in heaven

I slowly lift my eyes

I’m standing in your presence

Seeing you for the first time

 

But my loved ones stand

But they do not see

For they never came to You

They never chose to believe

 

As I gaze into their eyes

Fear fills their eyes

They’ll never know your love

They’ll never know your peace

 

So teach me how to tell them

Before it’s too late

How much they need You

For one day they’ll stand before you

Hearing one of two things….

“Depart from me”

Or “Well done”

Which will it be?

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Okay, so it’s not really finished. I need to do some touching up. But I’m putting myself out there….I really would like your opinion. Like I said, it’s rough. I know it needs work.

Should’ve Been Me

This song says it all!

Should’ve Been Me by Citizen Way

I’ve read the story, I’ve seen the movie
Given to charity, and tithe my ten percent
These I remember
But I so easily forget
All this years never heard it like this
Should’ve been me, should’ve been us
Should’ve been there hanging on a cross
All of this shame, all of these scars
Should’ve been stains that were never washed
Why do I hide, why do you try
Over and over and over again
I guess it just leaves saying thank God
It leaves me saying thank God, thank God
For the Should’ve been
I live a good life, I love a great wife
Our kids are beautiful
We got friends down the street
If I’m so thankful, why do I easily forget
Oh, that you died for all of this
When it should’ve been me, should’ve been us
Should’ve been there hanging on a cross
All of this shame, all of these scars
Should’ve been stains that were never washed
Why do I hide, why do you try
Over and over and over again
I guess it just leaves me saying thank God
Leaves me saying thank God
For this heart you changed
This soul you raised
My God for taking my place
When it should’ve been me, should’ve been us
Should’ve been there hanging on a cross
All of this shame, all of this scars
Should’ve been stains that were never washed
It should’ve been me, should’ve been us
Should’ve been hanging there on a cross
All of this shame, all of these scars
Should’ve been stains that were never washed
Why do I hide, why do you try
Over and over and over again
I guess it just leaves me saying thank God
Leaves me saying thank God
I guess it just leaves me saying thank God
For the should’ve been
For the should’ve been

Recovering Redemption

I’m reading this book by Matt Chandler and Michael Snetzer and it’s amazing! Here are just a few of the quotes I’ve already copied down:

• “the heart of our problem is the problem of our hearts”
• “trying to earn God’s pleasure DOES NOT WORK”
• “as long as you keep looking to yourself as your next best solution, you will never stop vacuuming up the mess you leave behind.”
• “while the good news of the gospel may not appeal to everyone, the bad news of the gospel still applies to everyone.

I’m sure I will come across many more as I get further into this book. It’s very thought provoking and they do not have any problem being blunt. Toes will be stepped on. Mine already have been.

Verse of the day:

Colossians 3:23 “And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the LORD and not to man!”

I struggle with this because I’m such a people pleaser. I strive to make sure I make others happy. But you know? No matter how hard I try I will NEVER please EVERYONE! And actually, I need to be working to please God and NOT man anyway.

 

 

Don’t measure the size of the mountain….

….talk to the One who can move it!   -Max Lucado

So there is a situation in my life that I can’t talk about but the Lord knows the need. If you all could please pray that this situation will turn around I’d really appreciate it.

I’ve recently discovered the group 33 Miles. They are a Christian group who sound a little like Rascal Flatts, to be honest, lol. But they have this one song that I can’t stop listening to! lol. It’s called When I get Where I’m Going. It’s beautiful. 🙂

When I get where I’m going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I’m gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I’m gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it’s like
To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I’m going
There’ll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I’ll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I’m going
Don’t cry for me down here

I’m gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he’ll match me step for step
And I’ll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I’ll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can’t answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I’m going
And I see my maker’s face
I’ll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I’m going
There’ll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I’m going
Yeah when I get where I’m going

 

This song has so much meaning! It’s so pretty! Apparently Brad Paisley sings it too. I don’t know who the song was written for but I like 33 Miles version better. lol

I have been dreaming of heaven lately. I want so badly to be there. I can’t wait for when the Lord comes back!