Consistently Inconsistent

The title says it all!

I am so very much consistent…at being inconsistent. It’s who I am but I’m going to try very hard to stop.

(I am also predictably unpredictable. So there’s that…)

I say that to say this: I’m a couple weeks into my two classes and so that’s going to be taking up a huge chunk of my time.

I’ve always been consistently inconsistent. That’s just the way it’s always been. But I know I need to work on my consistency when posting on here.

I am going to try to post on here at least 1-2 days a week. We’ll see!

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In my creative writing class we have to draft two pieces writing in the creative nonfiction genre. This has been hard because I’ve never written this genre before…(wait, do blog posts count as creative nonfiction? Hmm…I suppose they could!)

Anyway, the two topics I chose to write about are my battle with my inner demons (mental illness: ADHD, bipolar, etc) The second piece is definitely more lighthearted. I chose to document the time I was an extra on my favorite TV show, One Tree Hill.

These pieces are due on the 26th so I have plenty of time to go back and make last-minute revisions.

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In other news…we’re expecting snow this weekend! If you know me, you know how excited I am! It snows (significantly) once every few years. I think our last big storm was in 2018. So I’m ready for the snow, bring it on!

My dad lives in TN and they had 3 storms with significant accumulation. I kept telling him he was being selfish by having all that snow and not sending some my way. And then the weather team forecast we were going to get a good snowfall. HAHA!

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I am going to leave you all with this Scripture. As I pursue this writing career I feel very strongly that the Lord gave me a talent for writing and that I’m to use my writing to bring others to know Christ as their Savior.

8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for ^cus?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”

Isaiah 6:8

How are you using your talent?

Finding That Inspiration

As I embark on this new writing journey I have come across some quotes that I really want to share with you all!

Instead of waiting for inspiration to start writing, start writing to find inspiration

Robert Lee Brewer

I struggle with finding inspiration. This quote really opened my eyes. Just start writing…the inspiration will come.

To be a writer means to take risks, putting yourself and your ideas out on a limb, making yourself vulnerable to criticism, maybe even ridicule

Fred White

Writing for anyone other than yourself can really make you vulnerable. I have this fear sometimes that my writing isn’t good enough, isn’t worth being read. But to GROW as a writer, I must be willing to take that risk!

I want to make other readers feel how I feel when I read certain books but how do I do that if I haven’t made time for reading in my daily life the same way I’m trying to with writing?

Michael Woodson

Karen Kingsbury is hands down my favorite author of all time. When I read her books I am captivated from the opening line to the ending line. She has a way with words that I can hope to be able to write one day…

If I’m Wrong…

People say I’m strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger?

DC Talk

What will people think
When they hear that I’m a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it’s true
I don’t really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain’t no disguising the truth

These are lyrics to the song by DC Talk, “Jesus Freak” It’s a really good song and it’s packed full of truth.

Some may have a problem being called a Jesus Freak just because of the title mentioning “freak” but I’m a Jesus Freak and I’m proud of it.

Rachel Joy Scott wasn’t afraid of being a witness..a light to the world. She earnestly reached out to others and genuinely cared for them.

So…would you rather be normal like the rest of the world or do you want to be strange and be like Jesus?

And So It Begins…

Classes started this past Monday. I’m still nervous but I know that these two online classes are going to help me focus because it’s going to teach me discipline. (grrr, ADHD for fighting me on this. I hate you. )

I’ve already turned in a couple of assignments!

I know that both these classes, Creative Writing and English Literature are going to help hone my skills as a writer. Is it going to be hard? Well sure! Nothing in this life comes easy. However, it’s in those moments that one realizes that it’s worth it in the end.

Have I thought about withdrawing from these classes? Yes. Why? Because I have a nagging voice (Satan) whispering in my ear telling me I’m not good enough. That I don’t have what it takes.

Well, the joke is on you, Satan. I am going to fight you on this. These two classes, however hard they may become, are going to shape my career as a writer.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us this:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

This is the path the Lord has guided me onto. This is the path I am following. I have a passion for writing and this is my talent. It’s the only thing I feel like I’m fairly good at.

If you want to write, you can
Fear stops most people from writing,
not lack of talent.
Who am I? What right have I to speak?
Who will listen to me?
You are a human being with a unique story to tell.
You have every right.

Richard Rhodes

Why do I write?
Because it’s therapeutic.
It helps me release these feelings I have that I can’t say out loud.
Writing helps me
Writing shapes who I am and who I want to be.

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”

Anne Frank

Your Purpose, Your Gift

I thoroughly enjoyed the sermon this morning at church. Pastor David spoke from Romans 12:3-8

³ For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one. ⁴ Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, ⁵ in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another. ⁶ According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts: If prophecy, use it according to the proportion of one’s faith; ⁷ if service, use it in service; if teaching, in teaching; ⁸ if exhorting, in exhortation; giving, with generosity; leading, with diligence; showing mercy, with cheerfulness.

Romans 12:3-8

We all have gifts. Maybe some have more than others but we ALL have that one gift that can be used to glorify the Lord.

He really got me thinking this morning. I didn’t take notes but I should have because my brain fog is preventing me from truly remembering all that he said. I do know this: I have a gift and I believe it’s my talent for writing. David reminded us this morning to not think lowly about our gift. For instance, we don’t need to go around “woe is me, I can’t do anything right…” (I may or may not have been doing this the last couple of weeks leading up to my creative writing class that starts tomorrow) But we ALSO don’t need to go around thinking highly of ourselves. We need to think “sensibly.”

Check out Pastor David’s sermon: https://www.facebook.com/MissionChurchVB/videos/1041781249938086

What is your gift? What is your purpose?

But if we are the body
Why aren’t his arms reaching?
Why aren’t his hands healing?
Why aren’t his words teaching?And if we are the body
Why aren’t his feet going?
Why is his love not showing them
There is a way, there is a way

Casting Crowns, “If We Are the Body”

10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 4:10-11

Always Find the Good…

Life has a way of throwing us curveballs. One second you’re standing tall, the next you’re flat on your back.

“Not today, Satan. Not today.” That’s the phrase that runs through my mind whenever I’m feeling the frustrations of life. Satan sure does know how to weasel his way in. He sees us at our most vulnerable and attacks.

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

We must cling to the Lord always but especially through extremely hard times. Our faith is tested through these periods and we must remember that God hasn’t left us though it may feel like He has.

It is through these times that our faith is given a chance to persevere.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing

James 1:2-4

It is through these times that we also need to find the good. We need to always find the good through the painful circumstances.

God is good all the time.

All the time God is good.

Just remember….God is good. He’ll always be the good.

Luke 20- Don’t Be A Legalist — Unashamed of Jesus

Then in the audience of all the people he said unto his disciples, Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts; Which devour widows’ houses, and for a shew make long prayers: the […]

Luke 20- Don’t Be A Legalist — Unashamed of Jesus

Focus Point #3

I’ve mentioned two of my focus points for 2022:

• God
• Writing

Another thing I will be focusing on in 2022 is losing weight. It’s a struggle I’ve been dealing with for quite some time. I start out and then get discouraged when I don’t see results so I quit.

That’s going to change…..and for 2022 I’m going to work harder. It’s time to stop reading books and trying stupid fad diets (they may work for others just not me)….this time I’m going to just watch what I eat and exercise. I’m going to cut my portion control and lean on God to get through the cravings.

My mom and I are having a little competition of who can lose the most weight. Each Sunday we weigh in and put .50 cents in a jar and whoever loses the most at the end of our competition wins the jar full of money.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

Talents

One week from tomorrow my two classes start! I’m ready! Let’s go!

I have multiple ideas (sort of) that I think I will be able to expand on. I just need to get past the lack of confidence. God gave me this talent for writing and I’m finally ready to utilize it!

Writing is the only real thing I’ve known. It’s the only thing that I truly know how to do even when my brain loses the words as I’m typing (like it literally did just now, LOL)

By not using this talent I was reminded of the parable of the three servants and what was entrusted to them while the servant’s master was away.

I never truly understood this parable. I mean, yes I understood it but I never applied it to my life. I never really thought about my talent for writing.

Parable of the Three Servants

¹⁴ “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. ¹⁵ He gave five bags of silver^[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

¹⁶ “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. ¹⁷ The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. ¹⁸ But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

¹⁹ “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. ²⁰ The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’

²¹ “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!^[b]’

²² “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’

²³ “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

²⁴ “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. ²⁵ I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’

²⁶ “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, ²⁷ why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’

²⁸ “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. ²⁹ To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. ³⁰ Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth

“If there is a book that you want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Toni Morrison

Proverbs 4:25 (Focus)

Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you.

Proverbs 4:25

I searched for some Scripture on the word focus and came across several but this particular one is one that stood out to me.

As someone who suffers from ADHD and bipolar disorder I struggle sometimes (okay a LOT of the time) with focusing. I could have chosen a lot of other words as my “word of the year” but I purposely chose “focus” because I am determined to fight through the distractibility and through my struggle with inattentiveness.

2022 is going to be a great year. As long as I keep my attention on the Lord I know that I will find the ability to get through the annoyance of being unable to focus.

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On another note, I received my booster shot yesterday and man did it knock me down. My arm is in pain, my fibromyalgia is flaring up and I have a slight headache and chills. Man!!

Here’s to hoping tomorrow isn’t as painful!

How was YOUR first day of 2022?