Frustrations….Regrets….Disappointments

I want to be a postive person. Really. I do!  But when so many negative things keep happening it’s hard to find the good in it all!

I don’t want to complain. I really don’t. But right now I don’t know what else to do.  How do I find the good in having so many health problems and no health insurance? How do I find the good in not having the money to pay my medical bills?

Here I am, almost 28 years old and living at home. I can’t afford to live on my own and barely have enough money to help my mom out.

i regret going to college. i do. because i went for the wrong reasons. i think i went to socialize….i didn’t focus like i was supposed to. okay maybe i don’t regret going to college. i regret not fighting harder for scholarships and grants. instead i took the easy way out and took out all these loans thinking i’d have the job/money after i graduated to help pay them back.

i’m frustrated. all my friends are married…some with kids. i’m not worried about the kids part. to be honest, i don’t even think i want kids. i’m just not a kid person. i LOVE kids, don’t get me wrong….but i’m just not a mom figure. and i’m okay with that. i enjoy being the cool aunt/cousin. 🙂

sometimes i think i don’t want to get married. honestly, right now i enjoy being single because i don’t have to answer to anyone other than me. 🙂 and i’m enjoying that freedom…..YET there are nights when i wonder if i will ever meet someone who will sweep me off my feet. i need to make up my mind what i want. do i WANT to be single or do i want to get married??? ahhhh i think something is wrong with me. or maybe i just like the idea of love, not the actual thing…i DON’T KNOW!!!

*sigh* i just don’t know…..

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