Posted in 2018, adhd, bipolar, christianity, Faith, Jesus, love

Single but Not Alone

See the source imageI will be 35 in June (yuck) and I’m single. 10 years ago this would have bothered me. But as I grow closer to the Lord I have realized that I don’t need anyone BUT God.

10 years ago I was in a relationship that didn’t end well. He essentially broke up with me because of my bipolar disorder. He said he couldn’t handle it anymore. I remember looking at him and crying, “You don’t have to handle this. I have to deal with this the rest of my life. I just need you to BE there for me.”

Nope, he ran. But you know what I said? Fine. And I moved on without him. I haven’t had a relationship since.  Honestly, I have moments, small moments when I wonder if I’ll ever find someone but then I spend time with God and it all goes away. I am content being single. God fills that void.

If I’m being honest, I will say this: I am very self-conscious about my appearance. See, I have very bad dental problems due to my medications causing tooth decay. Fibromyalgia also contributes to my dental problems Half my teeth are falling out. Therefore, I don’t smile much and when I do it’s a closed mouth smile. If something makes me laugh I cover my mouth with my hand. I WILL NOT take pictures anymore because I just can’t stand to look at myself. I have to get dentures but I can’t afford them since I don’t have a job or dental insurance. (Anyone wanna start a GoFundMe page? I’m KIDDING!)

I think that’s the biggest reason why I don’t put myself out there and try to find someone.

I’ve accepted that this is how I am, this is how I look and everything else doesn’t matter.

GOD is all I need and I’m going to spend as much time with Him as I can and in the meantime, if He has someone planned for me, and I meet him, then so be it! But I’m not looking actively for anyone because I want God first in my life. Maybe I’ll be single forever, like Paul was. Maybe I’m not meant to have a significant other because it’ll be a distraction for me. And as we all know, I get distracted pretty easily. (Stupid ADD)

See the source imageI will say this again: God has great plans for me….for YOU….for everyone! If only we would stop, be still and listen to His voice. He’s calling for you and for me……NOTHING can change God’s love for you. 🙂

9 thoughts on “Single but Not Alone

  1. All of my life my problem was not finding a relationship. It was staying out of one. I have the best relationship I have ever had with the love of my life… Jesus! ❤ I have been single 14 years, and the Lord knows I needed it… to get rid of all of the junk… and to allow room for the good. You will gain far more from alone time with Jesus, and it will prepare you for the one He has set aside for you. Christ has someone who needs time alone with Him too for now. But when Christ brings him into your life, you will see him love you as Christ does… dentures or not… beautiful in his eyes! ❤ Me and God have faith in you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gods got a plan for your life. Some people will be single and that is ok. I have had struggles with that as well. I am 28 and I dread going to family get toghetrs. People always ask me when I am going to get married. I respond back whenever God gives me a man that can handle my crazy lifestyle. As a SPE Teacher, I work crazy hours trying to get my ppwk in and my normal is not normal. I have learned ot go with the flow and be happy with who I am. I pray that you continue to focus on God and everything else will have to work itself out.

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  3. You look pretty to me though. I think I’m like you in that I’m satisfied being single and not in a relationship. It’d be nice to have someone who understands you but at the end of the day, you don’t really want to entertain shallow relationships. I remember when I was trying to recover from a sickness that caused me to have short-term memory loss (encephalitis), I found out who was really there for me in the end. It took me two years to recover but it was a rough journey. I thank God for his healing grace. In any case, I do believe that no matter what you’re going through, never settle for shallow relationships with people that are unable to empathize with your pain. God will line you up with people that are for real. Thanks for following my blog by the way. God bless you hun 😀 – Sherline.

    Liked by 1 person

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