Posted in adhd, bible verses, bipolar, christian living, christianity, Faith, fear, forgiveness, grace, Jesus, love, mental disorders, peace, redemption, rest

Battle for My Mind

Satan is constantly whispering in my ear, “You’re not good enough. You can’t do this. Just give up now.”

My inner voice responds to him “Shut up. You know nothing. Go away.”

Then it goes quiet. Nothing. No voices for a few minutes.

Then comes the voice that I have grown to know and love. The small still voice that is the Lord’s. He tells me I AM good enough. I AM able to do this. Don’t give up.”

I know what voice I need to listen to. It’s obvious. But Satan’s voice then comes roaring like a lion. It’s his voice versus God’s voice. They’re battling for my mind.

It’s a never-ending battle.

A battle for my mind, my heart, my soul.

Who will win?

Who will I LET win?

It’s up to me, really.

Who do I choose? God or Satan?

Heaven or Hell?

I choose God

I choose Heaven

But there are days where my actions clearly choose the opposite.

There are days I give in to temptation. I listen to Satan’s voice.

I forget momentarily who I am.

A child of the King.

I’ve let Him down once again.

But here’s the beauty of it. He will always take me back! He waits for me with arms wide open when I realize the error of my ways. When I realize how foolish I’ve been. When I realize that that missing piece in my heart is just a prayer away.

I’m a bipolar Christian with a desire to bring others to Christ. To help them see the error of their ways. To help them see that the missing piece in their heart is just a prayer away.

Woman sits in the park reading Colossians in the bible
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Being bipolar and a Christian is definitely not easy. I struggle daily with racing thoughts and distractions. Satan knows my weaknesses and uses them against me. I try my best to cling to God through these times but sometimes my fleshly desires kick in and I let go and try to go my way.

 

But then I hear His voice, ever so softly, urging me to return to Him. To reclaim the gift He gave me. The gift of salvation.

Redemption for my sins.

He loves me with an agape love. An unconditional love. An everlasting love. His love never fails. Is never rude. Is never harsh. He loves me.

Despite my failures

Despite my shortcomings.

Lord, it is my desire to please you. To live a life that glorifies You. It is my desire to bring others to you. Help me to stop being so scared. To stop being….well, me! You created me. You love me. You know what I can do, even if I don’t.

Lord, you have great plans for me. Point me in the right direction. I want to do Your will. I’m tired of trying to do it all on my own. Especially when we both know I can’t do it all on my own. I need You and I’m begging You to help me cling to You throughout all the hardships I am going through. You are teaching me something, Lord. Help me to understand what it is.

And He loves YOU just as much! He loves YOU the same way. 

Won’t you come to Him?

 

Posted in song lyrics

Grace Wins

Grace Wins - Matthew WestAnother song that really speaks to me is Grace Wins by Matthew West. My favorite line is definitely “But I’m living proof grace wins every time.”

None of us deserves God’s grace. We’re sinners, each and every one of us. But God loves us so much that He couldn’t bear us dying in our sins so He sent His one and only Son to die in our place.

Grace Wins
Matthew West-video

In my weakest moment I see You
Shaking Your head in disgrace
I can read the disappointment
Written all over Your face

Here come those whispers in my ear
Saying, “who do you think you are?”
Looks like you’re on your own from here
‘Cause grace could never reach that far

But in the shadow of that shame
Beat down by all the blame
I hear You call my name saying it’s not over
And my heart starts to beat so loud now
Drowning out the doubt
I’m down, but I’m not out

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time
No more lying down in death’s defeat
Now I’m rising up in victory
Singing, hallelujah
Grace wins every time

Words can’t describe the way it feels
When mercy floods a thirsty soul
The broke inside begins to heal
And grace returns what guilty stole

And in the shadow of that shame
Beat down by all the blame
I hear You call my name saying it’s not over
And my heart starts to beat so loud now
Drowning out the doubt
I’m down, but I’m not out

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time
No more lying down in death’s defeat
Now I’m rising up in victory
Singing, hallelujah
Grace wins every time

For the prodigal son
Grace wins
For the woman at the well
Grace wins
For the blind man and the beggar
Grace wins
For always and forever
Grace wins
For the lost out on the streets
Grace wins
For the worst part of you and me
Grace wins
For the thief on the cross
Grace wins
For a world that is lost

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time
No more lying down in death’s defeat
Now I’m rising up in victory
Singing, hallelujah
Grace wins every time, every time
Yeah, I’m living proof
Grace wins every time