Satan is constantly whispering in my ear, “You’re not good enough. You can’t do this. Just give up now.”
My inner voice responds to him “Shut up. You know nothing. Go away.”
Then it goes quiet. Nothing. No voices for a few minutes.
Then comes the voice that I have grown to know and love. The small still voice that is the Lord’s. He tells me I AM good enough. I AM able to do this. Don’t give up.”
I know what voice I need to listen to. It’s obvious. But Satan’s voice then comes roaring like a lion. It’s his voice versus God’s voice. They’re battling for my mind.
It’s a never-ending battle.
A battle for my mind, my heart, my soul.
Who will win?
Who will I LET win?
It’s up to me, really.
Who do I choose? God or Satan?
Heaven or Hell?
I choose God
I choose Heaven
But there are days where my actions clearly choose the opposite.
There are days I give in to temptation. I listen to Satan’s voice.
I forget momentarily who I am.
A child of the King.
I’ve let Him down once again.
But here’s the beauty of it. He will always take me back! He waits for me with arms wide open when I realize the error of my ways. When I realize how foolish I’ve been. When I realize that that missing piece in my heart is just a prayer away.
I’m a bipolar Christian with a desire to bring others to Christ. To help them see the error of their ways. To help them see that the missing piece in their heart is just a prayer away.
Being bipolar and a Christian is definitely not easy. I struggle daily with racing thoughts and distractions. Satan knows my weaknesses and uses them against me. I try my best to cling to God through these times but sometimes my fleshly desires kick in and I let go and try to go my way.
But then I hear His voice, ever so softly, urging me to return to Him. To reclaim the gift He gave me. The gift of salvation.
Redemption for my sins.
He loves me with an agape love. An unconditional love. An everlasting love. His love never fails. Is never rude. Is never harsh. He loves me.
Despite my failures
Despite my shortcomings.
Lord, it is my desire to please you. To live a life that glorifies You. It is my desire to bring others to you. Help me to stop being so scared. To stop being….well, me! You created me. You love me. You know what I can do, even if I don’t.
Lord, you have great plans for me. Point me in the right direction. I want to do Your will. I’m tired of trying to do it all on my own. Especially when we both know I can’t do it all on my own. I need You and I’m begging You to help me cling to You throughout all the hardships I am going through. You are teaching me something, Lord. Help me to understand what it is.
And He loves YOU just as much! He loves YOU the same way.
Won’t you come to Him?