Posted in adhd, bipolar, fibromyalgia, mental disorders

A Few Thoughts…

I’d like to take the time to share something that’s been on my heart the past few days. I am currently down with the stomach bug so between binge watching Netflix and reading I’ve been doing some thinking. It’s more of a rant so I’m warning you now. I just need to get this off my chest.

Most of you know that I struggle with fibromyalgia, a chronic illness that causes widespread body pain, fatigue and cognitive difficulties (“fibro fog”) I also suffer from bipolar disorder, ADHD, PCOS, anxiety and depression.

I physically and mentally CANNOT work at this present time. I have applied for disability and have a hearing next Wednesday, June 27th. My lawyer thinks I have a very good chance at winning due to all my health issues.

However, most people look at me and think I’m just being lazy and think I just don’t want to work.

“Change your mindset” they tell me. “You’ll feel better”

It’s not about my “mindset.” I physically cannot work. Don’t you think I WANT to be able to work and provide for myself? Don’t you think I feel ashamed that I can’t provide for myself? That I can’t help out more around the house? It’s downright embarrassing.

You know what though? I shouldn’t feel ashamed about any of this. I have health problems. I didn’t ask for them.

I want people to know how badly it hurts when I’m called lazy.

It’s not laziness. I just wish I could get people to understand this.

The pain is real, folks. And words hurt.

 

16 thoughts on “A Few Thoughts…

  1. My daughter has Fibromyalgia but so far is still able to work,, I understand your difficulty, and you are so right. Those people who judge you just don’t have any concept of what you are going through. I pray God will open their eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry people are so much better at breaking down than building up. I recently had a full abdominal hysterectomy and my co-workers had a field day with how long i had to be out. They may never understand, but he beauty in that is, it isn’t for them to understand. I found so much peace in COMPLETELY submitting my frustrations to God and He so gently reminded me that 1. This world is broken. 2. He’s carrying me. He’s carrying you. Even in the worst of darkness, He is. Pray that God reveals to them the pain they cause and that you are free from your joy being stolen. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! I’m so glad I stopped to read this so I could offer some words of encouragement!…I understand what you are going through and I know your pain is real! A couple of years ago I took a very common antibiotic for a UTI, called Ciprofloxacin. What I didn’t know is that this drug could cause rare and long-term “fibromyalgia like symptoms”. For a whole year I was stuck with these symptoms. I would be extremely tired for absolutely no reason, would feel sore in various parts of my body that I had not injuried, and would feel sad or really down for no apparent reason. I would sleep much of the day and could hardly get out of bed. And some days I literally had pain in every joint of my body-fingers, toes, elbows, you name it. I went from doctor to doctor, had test after test and they never could find out what was wrong with me and denied that these could be side effects of the drug, even though the papers that came with the drug said so! I believe they thought I was crazy, one doctor at one point even prescribed me an antidepressant! But I wasn’t having it, I went to God in prayer about it and finally after a year or so the symptoms left me! Glory be to God 🙌!..So I know part of your pain, I know it’s real! And I couldn’t imagine that pain, plus dealing with the other issues you face as well! But I’m here to tell you that you are not alone, others do understand, and God loves you and is able to heal you! I know the words of others may hurt, but when they throw out hateful words just try to remember that though they just don’t understand-OTHERS do understand and most importantly God does too!…I wish you the best with getting your disability! Stay encouraged! 😊❤😘

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve been thinking about you and praying!!! I will be lifting this up continually and I’ll be in prayer with you in spirit. 🙂

    People who see something from the outside have no idea. It’s easy for people to lay in on their opinions and how “they” think you should live your life, but they do not live it. They do not understand. God reminded me recently that His plan for me does not have to make sense to the rest of the world. Just because people think they know what you “should” do does not mean it true, and knowing that kind of lifted the burden a little bit.

    Do not let people’s ignorance weigh down on your shoulders. 🙂 Thinking of you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You are absolutely right. I have found it hard to tell MYSELF that I’m not being lazy, never mind someone else who may make a thoughtless comment. It is hard to not feel ashamed, but you are right in that NONE of us ever asked for this in our lives. I’m sending you virtual hugs now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My hearing got postponed until September 19th. Apparently the judge wasn’t available so they had to reschedule. I was not a happy camper.

      Liked by 1 person

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