More Than Anything

I heard this song the other day on KLOVE and while I’ve heard it before, this time I really listened to the words. And boy did they speak to me! How many times have I been so selfish and only thought of me, of what I can gain from something. This song has special meaning and I encourage you to check it out!

I’ve included the lyric video down below so you can take a listen .

More Than Anything
by Natalie Grant

I know if you wanted to you could wave your hand
Spare me this heartache and change your plan
And I know any second you could take my pain away
But even if you don’t I pray

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything

You know more than anyone that my flesh is weak
And you know I’d give anything for a remedy
And I’ll ask a thousand more times to set me free today
Oh but even if you don’t I pray

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Oh Help me want you Jesus more than anything

When I’m desperate and my hearts overcome
All that I need you’ve already done
When I’m desperate and my hearts overcome
All that I need you’ve already done

Oh Jesus Help me want you more than anything

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything
Help me want you Jesus more than anything 

 

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I just came across this blog post and found it very interesting!

Fibromyalgia’s most common (and well known) symptoms include muscle pain and fatigue. The condition, however, also includes a range of symptoms affecting memory, attention, and concentration, known collectively as dyscognition. Dyscognition may be “more disabling than chronic pain,” the study’s authors write, but is mostly under-recognized or under-treated. They concluded that the higher FIQ-R scores “could […]

via ADHD More Common in Women with Fibromyalgia, Study Shows — Fibromyalgia Resources

Fibro Fog

Fibro fog – also known as fibromyalgia fog and brain fog – is a term commonly used for the cognitive difficulties that can occur with fibromyalgia.

Fibro fog can manifest itself in different ways in different people but some of the most common symptoms include:

• short-term memory loss
• misplacing objects
• becoming easily distracted
• forgetting plans
• difficulty carrying on conversations
• inability to remember new information

Lately my fibro fog has gotten worse. I think a trip to my doctor is in the future to see if there is anything that can be done. I’ve read that certain medications can help. As much as I don’t want to be on another medication, if it will help with this fibro fog then I’m all for it!

I have such a hard time remembering words. I forget things constantly. My memory is just plain awful. It’s really annoying, actually. I’m only 35 years old for crying out loud.

I don’t say all of this to get your pity but rather your prayers! I want so badly to memorize Scripture to help me when I’m feeling down and depressed about all of this. But my brain just won’t let me. I can remember bits and pieces of Scripture but not the entire verse.

So you guys, pray for me as I struggle with this stupid fibro fog.  I am determined to not let it bring me down any longer.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself ever since I got the bad news about my disability.  But in my devotions this morning, I came across these verses and it really uplifted me.

In this world, we are going to run into hardships. It’s inevitable.

But as the Bible tells us in John 16:33,

³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

All we have to do is hold on to that promise and one day we will be made new!

for King and Country has a song called “Fix My Eyes.” It’s a great song and part of the lyrics go like this:

The things of Earth are dimming
In the light of Your glory and grace
I’ll set my sights upon Heaven
I’m fixing my eyes on you, on you

The Lord is coming back soon! All we have to do is fix our eyes upon Him!

Denied

I checked the Social Security website yesterday to check on the status of my disability case and it said a medical decision had been made. However, it didn’t tell me whether it was approved or denied. I guess that’s what will be in the letter they send me. I decided to call my lawyer today and he looked into it and I found out that I was denied.

My lawyer said once they get the paperwork in to see WHY I was denied they will work on possibly starting the appeal.

I am so beyond frustrated. The tears came immediately and I just sat down, head in my hands, confused and angry.

I know you all have been praying for me so I just wanted to update y’all.

*sigh*

 

Turning the Other Cheek

When people hurt us….well, it hurts! (I know, super profound there, huh?)

But no, seriously, when people hurt us, it can cause us to lose ourselves for a little bit. We become down and depressed a little, maybe even angry. We sometimes lash out at the person, giving them an earful. (I know I’ve been guilty of this in times past.)

My church has been hurt lately. And there are people who are making sure we know it.  It has caused a great deal of discouragement and a little righteous anger, if I’m being honest. These people don’t seem to realize just how badly it hurts! The negativity they are spreading on social media…..it’s just downright mean!

The human nature in me wants to lash out, to yell, to scream, to retaliate. That’s what Satan wants me to do.

But I’m going to turn the other cheek. In Matthew 5:38-40, it says:

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’^[a]39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.

I don’t understand why this is happening but I do know that God wants me to react in a manner pleasing to Him. He doesn’t want me to give in to my human nature desires.

It’s hard for me, believe me. I am struggling with this very much. I want to comment back so badly. I have so many retorts for them.  But this will not please the Lord. He wants me to rise above. And I’m working on it. It seems that just when I’ve reached a point where I think I’m fine then I see other comments made. I actually had a former church member unfriend me and others from our church. It hurt so badly.

It shouldn’t be this way!! But it is.

And I’m turning the other cheek.

Prevail!

My church could use your prayers! We are undergoing a lot of changes and have recently come to find out that our building is no longer fit for us to meet in.

There is a lot of water damage and the air quality report came back with very bad results. It’s all happening so quickly so we may not be able to meet together until we can find a place to worship. And boy are we looking!!

While all of this happening with our building, we are also re-launching as a new church with a new name. Prevail Church. It’s a very fitting name, I believe, for we have done a lot of suffering lately. But we WILL prevail!!

We have had many people leave the church for various reasons, but mostly because they do not like the change we are going through with our new pastor. (oh yeah, we recently hired a new pastor who is AMAZING and is doing GREAT things for this church by the way.)

These people who have left are saying very unkind things on social media about the direction the church is going. It’s a very sad situation and it breaks my heart to read some of the comments. I have had to bite my tongue so often it’s gotten sore! But I refuse to say anything negative because that’s how wars get started. And I refuse to be a part of that. Satan is really on the rampage right now, trying to get us to fail. But guess what? That’s right, WE WILL PREVAIL! WE ARE PREVAIL CHURCH!

 

Strong Enough

I hate being bipolar. I hate having ADHD. I struggle constantly with rambling thoughts, racing through my mind. I’m restless, constantly. I can’t focus on a given task for longer than a few minutes. I get distracted and will start several tasks, not finishing them because I get bored and move on to something else. Having fibromyalgia doesn’t help either. I live in a constant state of restlessness, chronic fatigue and pain, and irritability.

Honestly? I’m exhausted. It’s exhausting living like this.

But I know without a doubt that my God is with me through all of this. He is with me in the pain, in the irritability. He is with me through all my rambling thoughts. He is with me as I struggle to pray because I can’t focus long enough. He knows the words I am trying to say.

It’s been almost 3 weeks since my disability hearing. I haven’t heard anything yet. I know it can take a while so I just have to learn to be patient, which let’s face it, is NOT a strong suit of mine. But God is with me.

God is with me even now as I struggle to write this, as I force myself, with great difficulty, to get this blog post finished. The words just won’t come.

God is with me in the good days and the bad ones.

God is with me wherever I go.

Some verses that comfort me when I’m feeling this way:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NIV)

 

I took a break from writing this and turned on some music and the song “Strong Enough” by Matthew West came on. I find it fitting. 🙂

Matthew West

You must
You must think I’m strong
To give me what I’m going through
Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own
I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us
Yeah
Well, maybe
Maybe that’s the point
To reach the point of giving up
‘Cause when I’m finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that’s when I start looking up
And reaching out
I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken
Down to nothing
But I’m still holding on to the one thing
You are God and
You are strong when
I am weak
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
I don’t have to be strong enough
Strong enough
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Oh, yeah
I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

Prayer Requests

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Hey y’all, I have a few prayer requests I’d like to share:

1. Pray for Hyde Park Church. We are going through a LOT of changes and are currently looking for a new building to worship in. Our current building just has too much damage from water leaks and such.
2. My friend, Kristin is in the hospital with extremely low hemoglobin levels. She had to have a blood transfusion.
3. On October 30, I am having an endoscopy to try to determine why I’m having stomach pain.

Matthew 11:28 (NLT) says “Then Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” 

There is power in prayer. 

 

 

 

Parable of the Sower

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One of my favorite parables is found in Matthew 13 about the parable of the sower.

³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

What does this all mean? Well, Jesus goes on to explain:

¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”