Posted in anxiety, bipolar, blogging, christian living, church, depression, Faith, fear, fibromyalgia, grace, mental disorders, peace, phobias, song lyrics, worry, writers block

Why Is It So Hard?

I have all but lost my desire for writing. Now that I’m back to work, it seems I have let my writing fall by the wayside. After I get home from work I’m in so much pain from standing all day that I have no interest in writing.

I’m going to be honest with you all for a moment…..I’m struggling. With life, with my relationship with God, with just about everything. I haven’t lost my faith. I still believe but I’m finding it hard to set aside time to spend with God.

I’m human. We all are. We have flaws and always will. But what happens when you lose your desire for God? Why is it so hard to follow Him? I see others who are so devoted to God and have a deep relationship with Him and I wonder why I can’t seem to find that sort of relationship. I know it’s available, I know it’s there. I thought I used to have it.  Maybe I never have.

I feel like a fraud. This blog is supposed to be me telling others about Christ and His love for us. And here I am, struggling. I’ve abandoned my blog in recent weeks.

I know we all struggle. As long as we are on this earth we will struggle from time to time.

I do know that God is still working in me. As I write this, I’m listening to Mandisa’s song, Unfinished. If you haven’t heard it I definitely advise you to check it out. Here’s some of the lyrics,

Not scared to say it
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy
‘Cause that world I painted
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down
But I picked myself back up
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me
He started something good
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I’m just unfinished
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I know God is not finished with me yet.  And I know if you are struggling right now, like I am, that God isn’t finished with you yet either. Keep your head up and focused on Him.
That’s what I am doing.
But why is it so hard???
Here is another song that is speaking to me right now. It’s called Need You Now by Plumb. Such a powerful song!
Well, everybody’s got a story to tell
And everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
‘Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn’t plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

I don’t know where you are right now in your walk with God, whether you’re struggling, as I am right now, or if things are going great for you right now but just remember this: God is not finished with you and has great plans for you.

I honestly believe this though I’m struggling right now.
I just wish it wasn’t so hard.
Posted in Uncategorized

Launch Sunday

Hey y’all!

Prevail Church officially launched on March 3! We had a fantastic turnout! I believe we had 196 people show up. In the Children’s Ministry, where I serve at, had a total of 46 kids! God is so good! We could definitely feel His presence!

It’s been a long journey to get to this point. There have been ups and downs but God has never once left us. We truly want to glorify Him in all we do.

Here is a video of the sermon from the first Sunday. It’s a series so if you want to see more please visit our website www.prevailchurch.life and click on “Sermons.”

Like I’ve said before, if you’re in the Hampton Roads area please come and visit! We would love to have you!

Posted in basketball, Uncategorized

It’s That Time of Year Again……

basketball ring and ball
Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com

March is upon us and for all you college basketball fans, you know what that means!! March Madness!!! The Big Dance!!!

Selection Sunday is today!!! To learn more about the process and how teams are chosen click here. I mean, you don’t have to, especially if you have no interest in sports, lol. It’ll just help you have a better understanding of how the teams are picked. There is this huge process that takes A LOT of things into consideration in order to be selected and what seeding you get.

As you all know I am a HUGE North Carolina Tar Heel fan! I can’t wait to start filling out my bracket and watching the games! GO TAR HEELS!

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, be prepared for a bunch of March Madness posts!!! I get so pumped for this time of year!



In other news, sorry for being absent once again. I have been busy with work and then last week I came down with the horrible flu bug and it kept me pretty much bed ridden for a week. The doctor prescribed me Tamiflu and it actually made me sicker! So even though it goes against the doctor’s orders, I stopped taking it. I am not 100% but I’m getting there. I go back to work tomorrow for the first time in a week.

I realize I’ve been neglecting my blog. I’ve missed corresponding with you all! I promise I will try to do better!

How is YOUR day going? Are you a March Madness fanatic like me?

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Reading Slump

I have been in the worst reading slump. I just can’t seem to find a book that really captivates me, catches my attention, leave me wanting more. So at work the other day I asked a coworker to give me a few titles that she enjoyed and she did one better. She made me a whole list! Pages of books she liked and would recommend.

I also decided to scroll through Libby (which is an app for library ebooks and audiobooks) and came across a book called Warcross by Marie Lu. I read the synopsis and was intrigued. So I checked it out so I could read the first couple of chapters and man I was hooked.

So….since I work at Barnes and Noble and get a really great discount, I decided to buy the actual book. I’m already on chapter 8.

Here’s the synopsis from Amazon,

For the millions who log in every day, Warcross isn’t just a game—it’s a way of life. The obsession started ten years ago and its fan base now spans the globe, some eager to escape from reality and others hoping to make a profit. Struggling to make ends meet, teenage hacker Emika Chen works as a bounty hunter, tracking down Warcross players who bet on the game illegally. But the bounty-hunting world is a competitive one, and survival has not been easy. To make some quick cash, Emika takes a risk and hacks into the opening game of the international Warcross Championships—only to accidentally glitch herself into the action and become an overnight sensation.

Convinced she’s going to be arrested, Emika is shocked when instead she gets a call from the game’s creator, the elusive young billionaire Hideo Tanaka, with an irresistible offer. He needs a spy on the inside of this year’s tournament in order to uncover a security problem . . . and he wants Emika for the job. With no time to lose, Emika’s whisked off to Tokyo and thrust into a world of fame and fortune that she’s only dreamed of. But soon her investigation uncovers a sinister plot, with major consequences for the entire Warcross empire.

In this sci-fi thriller, #1 New York Times bestselling author Marie Lu conjures an immersive, exhilarating world where choosing who to trust may be the biggest gamble of all.

I do believe this book is going to get me out of my slump!

However, I’d love it if y’all had any suggestions for me to add to my TBR pile. 🙂

What are you reading these days?