I have all but lost my desire for writing. Now that I’m back to work, it seems I have let my writing fall by the wayside. After I get home from work I’m in so much pain from standing all day that I have no interest in writing.
I’m going to be honest with you all for a moment…..I’m struggling. With life, with my relationship with God, with just about everything. I haven’t lost my faith. I still believe but I’m finding it hard to set aside time to spend with God.
I’m human. We all are. We have flaws and always will. But what happens when you lose your desire for God? Why is it so hard to follow Him? I see others who are so devoted to God and have a deep relationship with Him and I wonder why I can’t seem to find that sort of relationship. I know it’s available, I know it’s there. I thought I used to have it. Maybe I never have.
I feel like a fraud. This blog is supposed to be me telling others about Christ and His love for us. And here I am, struggling. I’ve abandoned my blog in recent weeks.
I know we all struggle. As long as we are on this earth we will struggle from time to time.
I do know that God is still working in me. As I write this, I’m listening to Mandisa’s song, Unfinished. If you haven’t heard it I definitely advise you to check it out. Here’s some of the lyrics,
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I’m just unfinished
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
And everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
‘Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise
God please take this?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I don’t know where you are right now in your walk with God, whether you’re struggling, as I am right now, or if things are going great for you right now but just remember this: God is not finished with you and has great plans for you.
That Plumb song is one of my favs. I’m also enjoying “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship – it speaks to times like this.
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I love Plumb! They have a lot of great songs. I’m lifting you up in prayer sister! God is with you!
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I’ll pray for you. Thanks for sharing those Mandisa lyrics–so relatable!
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Amen, Leigh! He is not done. Not with you, not with me! ❤
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