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My Mental State

It’s been almost a month since I last posted. I hate it when I fall into a slump. I hadn’t meant to neglect my blog. I want to write. But I’ve allowed my depressed mental state to overtake my wanting to write.

I’ve struggled the past month with irritability, restlessness and inability to focus on tasks. I went to my psychiatrist today and she has upped my dosage of Cymbalta in hopes that it curbs the symptoms I’m experiencing.

I’ve been struggling with my weight and it has me a little depressed. It doesn’t help that my medications cause weight gain. However, I know I need to work harder at losing this weight. It’s just going to be a little more difficult but with your prayers and the Lord’s help, I know I can lose it. I just have to be more disciplined.

OH, and for those of you who know about my heart problems, I found out last week what was going on. I had decided to get a second opinion after the first cardiologist insisted he couldn’t find anything wrong and said that I was just fat and needed to lose weight. (well duh but I KNEW something more was going on.)

So I found a new cardiologist and he had me wear another heart monitor for 24 hours.  He called me last week with the results. Basically, the lower chambers of my heart are skipping beats. He informed me that in the 24 hours I had the monitor on, my heart skipped over 2,000 beats!!!!! Um, can we say crazy?? So he has put me on a medication to slow my heart rate down.

For those of you who are just discovering my blog, I am a bipolar Christian.  Sounds like an oxymoron, right? How can someone suffer from a mental disorder and still be a Christian? It’s difficult, to stay the least and there are times you’ll find me talking about my health/mental health a little more than Jesus. But rest assured, Jesus is MY LIFE!  I know without a doubt that Jesus died to save me from my sins. I know without a doubt that He is WITH ME as I stumble and struggle through a life filled with depression, anxiety and mood swings.

And if you are suffering, please know that Jesus is with you. If you are having bouts of depression, anxiety and other mental issues,  please know that you are not alone. If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Even if you just need to vent to someone, please contact me.

Life is hard sometimes. Jesus is there for you…waiting with arms wide open.