I’m hurting again. I’m exhausted…again. My body is in so much pain that I just want to give up. But I know I can’t. This is a daily battle. It’s a battle that rages constantly, pulling me down with it sometimes. I don’t always win. Today feels like one of those days.
Fibromyalgia. Why must it exist? Bipolar disorder…why must I suffer? I just want to be normal. What is normal though? Does it even exist?
I am not writing this in order to get you to feel sorry for me. Rather I’m writing to get my thoughts out, to express how I’m feeling. But due to brain fog I can’t find the right words to truly express how I’m feeling. I have to save this as a draft, walk away for a little while, then come back. Most of the time that works but today I’m struggling. My brain just doesn’t want to work today.
As I was writing this, Jamie Kimmett’s song “Burdens” came on. Coincidence? I think not! This is ALL GOD!
I don’t have to fight this battle alone. The Lord is with me. He wants me to lay my burdens down, to give everything to Him!
Do not be afraid of the nations there, for the Lord your God will fight for you.
Deuteronomy 3:22
The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17
Praying for you, Leigh. Stay strong! ♥
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Thank you for your prayers! 🙂
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Prayed for you. Chronic illness is an up and down battle even daily at times. I have Fibro too and Celiacs and a few other things. May the Lord bless you 🙂
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Thank you for your prayers. I’ll be praying for you as well! Fibro is such an awful illness.
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Leigh,
I don’t think I’ve posted before, but I’ve read your articles for 6-8 months, something like that. Recently, they’ve really been sticking out to me. Brutally honest, earnestly hopeful, overflowing with obvious love for our God, they’ve been such an encouragement!
In turn, I would like to encourage you. God has an awesome and mighty plan for you. He has never failed you, and will remain Faithful and True. Remember the times he brought you through before, the times of desperate emotion and of difficult pain. He never left your side. He is so loving, so kind! He has a plan for you, a role only you can fill. Remember, in your weakness, He is made strong! Remember the LORD, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes! It is worth it, Leigh. The toil and trial, the soul trevail, your pleading prayers and your intercessions, they are worth it. Remember there is always more than meets the eye. God is always moving. Keep pursuing Him. He’s going to use you for His great glory. Your illnesses can open up a whole world of ministry that most others cannot truly touch. Wait on our God for strength and wisdom, sit quietly before Him and dwell in His presence. He will be your guide.
Remember you are dearly loved! What love is this that left glory to come and live in this broken world and perish for the sins of the world!? We are so undeserving! Praise Him for His ressurection, for if we have died with Him, we will surely live with Him! You bear the cross daily in your body, but there is hope, for God is not like men who falter or waver in opinion. He is steadfast and His love will endure forever. Cling to His promises, Leigh! Never forsake thy God!
Your brother in Christ,
Liam
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Hi Liam! Thank you so much for this! I appreciate the kind and thoughtful words.
You’re absolutely right! God is always with us, He will never leave us. He really is Faithful and True!
I’ve always wondered how God could use my illnesses. But like you said, it opens up a “whole world of ministry” that I never knew possible.
Again, thank you for your kind words. 🙂
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Amen!
And not only that, but your steadfastness in trial is a testimony, encouragement and conviction to those looking on. =)
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