Start Right Here

So apparently this song came out in 2018 and I’m just now hearing it! I was listening to Amazon Music when this song popped up and literally stopped me in my tracks.

Take a look at some of the lyrics!

We want our coffee in the lobby
We watch our worship on a screen
We got a Rockstar preacher
Who won’t wake us from our dreams
We want our blessings in our pockets
We keep our missions overseas
But for the hurting in our cities
Would we even cross the street?

But we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel
The walls fall down and our land be healed
But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It’s got to start right here
It’s got to start right now
Lord, I’m starting right here
Lord, I’m starting right now

What are we doing to bring others to Christ? What are we sacrificing? ARE we sacrificing? Or are we too caught up in our comfort zone to even think about lost souls?

As we say goodbye to 2020 and hello to 2021 may it be our mission to start right here! To reach those who are lost, to proclaim the Gospel!

Why do we find it difficult to break the silence about the best news and most important Person the world has ever known?

Herb Vander Lugt

Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Depression, Anxiety and the Church

Churches, we need a new approach to mental illness, or maybe not new, but a more Christlike approach to mental illness.


Mental illness.

It can be hard to talk about. Hard to accept. Hard for some people to even acknowledge. As someone who suffers from mental illness, I know what it’s like to feel the stigma. To feel the hesitancy to bring the subject up because of not knowing how it will be received. To feel ashamed.

I’m starting a book called “Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don’t Want to Talk About” by Ryan Casey Waller and it sounds like an interesting read.


A pastor and licensed psychotherapist himself suffering from depression and anxiety takes on the relationship of mental health and faith while addressing the role of self-care, compassion, and restoration.

Everyone knows someone who suffers from anxiety, depression, or another form of mental illness, but a stigma around mental health remains–especially in the church. Ryan Casey Waller–pastor, therapist, and cosufferer–has experienced firsthand the jarring dissonance of wrestling with mental health while trying to maintain a vibrant Christian faith. It can be a discouraging, lonely battle. But it doesn’t have to be.

In this book, Waller emphasizes that mental health issues are not a symptom of a spiritual failing or insufficient faith; rather, suffering is the very thing our Savior seeks to heal as he leads us toward restoration. Combining practical theology, clinical insights, and deep compassion, Waller invites readers to see why we need conversations in the church about mental health and how to have them; discover why seeking knowledge about one’s self is critical to growing deeper in relationship with God; understand the basics of brain health, the intersection of biology and spirituality, and why emotional intelligence deserves more attention; learn practical steps such as how to find a therapist, distinguish between a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and afford treatment; and become equipped to support loved ones with mental illness while promoting healthy self-care.”

Addressing our mental health is more complicated than addressing other aspects of our health, especially for Christians.

Ryan Casey Waller

Mental Illness versus Physical Illness

One thing that has always always, ALWAYS bothered me was the acceptance of physical illness but not mental illness. Yes, with a physical illness, you can see what’s going on. You can see how a person’s physical illness makes them feel.

But what about those illnesses that can’t be seen? The ones that are crammed inside the brain. What about the person suffering from depression but is too scared to talk to anyone in the church about it because she fears being judged. Or being told “You don’t have enough faith. Just pray harder and it will go away.” (that “advice” infuriates me.)

Some of us battle mental illness like others of us battle our cholesterol.

Ryan Casey Waller

The Stigma

There continues to be a high level of suspicion, distrust and even fear in the church when it comes to psychology and psychiatry.

Matthew Stanford

“Mental illness is a sign of weakness”

“Your mental illness is punishment for your sin.”

“Just pray it away.”

Whether a person suffers from bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, anxiety, depression etc…the church must come together and help fight the end of the stigma surrounding the church.

For the stigma of mental illness to be broken, there must be direct, transparent speech from Christian leaders. We need more open dialogue in the church.

Ed. Stetzer

Its Not a Lack of Faith Issue

I have suffered from depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder for many years.  I was told by someone once that my faith was not strong enough and that’s why I was suffering. I’ll never forget that.

But it’s not a faith issue. What if what I had was physical? Diabetes, or cancer? We don’t question those illnesses so why is mental illness any different? According to Ed Stetzer,

We can talk about diabetes and Aunt Mable’s lumbago in church—those are seen as medical conditions, but mental illness–that’s somehow seen as a lack of faith.

Mental illness is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It shouldn’t be treated any differently from a physical illness.

It’s called a mental illness for a reason….because it is an illness. Why can’t it be accepted like any other illness?


The church must stop being afraid of tackling the subject of mental illness. It exists. Simple as that.

The Struggle is Real

Fundraiser by Leigh Stone : Help Leigh Get Dentures (

I have realized that no matter how vulnerable it makes me feel, asking for help doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

I am in desperate need of dentures. I have been for many years now and I decided to start a GoFundMe page to try to raise the money. With my limited hours at work due to my health problems and the many other monthly bills I have, trying to come up with the money for dentures will take too long.

So please, if you are able, consider donating to my page. If you can’t help financially, just pray for me that I will be able to raise the funds necessary. I covet your prayers!

I’m still in the middle of a fibro flare and bipolar relapse but I felt I needed to get on here and do some writing.

I’ve always been told to “write what you know.” I hate that phrase. How do I know what I know? How does a person write what they know if they aren’t sure what they know? I realize that makes absolutely no sense but it does to me, LOL.

I’m going to try to get on here several times a week to write, even if it’s just a sentence or two. 🙂

Bipolar Relapse AND Fibro Flare up….

….at the same time?!


I’m not doing so well at the moment. I’m currently feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck. My whole body hurts…my skin hurts…even my brain comes a fibro flare!

Oh but wait! My bipolar disorder is screaming at me too! From the racing thoughts to the crying to the impulsivity…I’m a hot mess!

I know I said I’d be back on here soon but I’ve got to take care of my health first. So if you think about it, please say a prayer for me.