Just Keep Writing, Just Kee—Squirrel!

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****Repost*** February 2018

As most of you know I’m working, very slowly albeit, a project that I hope will turn into a book one day down the road.

I decided to search through old posts about my writing and I came across this from about 3 years ago.

I get distracted very easily as you can tell from my title….(if you haven’t seen the movie “Up” I encourage you to. It’s such a cute movie. )

Writing takes time. I’m slowly, (very slowly….okay like turtle slow….) figuring out what should be included and what shouldn’t. This “book” is going to force me to unlock many memories that I really rather not get into BUT…..BUT…it’s essential. It has to be done. If I’m going to write a book on the stigma surrounding mental illness and the church I will have to face my demons from many, many years ago….

As I read this post from 3 years ago…I feel like I have come a long way in my writing. At least I think I have.

So….I will just keep on writing…writing is what I strongly feel is my “gift.” And I don’t want to squander that gift.

Periodically, would you all stop by and ask how the writing is going? I feel that will keep me motivated.


Just Keep Writing…..

The inspiration for my writing is slowly but surely returning. I’m still having bouts of writer’s block but I just write through it. 🙂

Just keep writing, Just keep writing…. 🙂

I’ve been going to a local coffee shop and the words have slowly been coming to me.

I’ve been praying that the Lord will give me the right words to write. I want my writing to glorify Him and Him alone.

I just love to write.

So here I am, at my local coffee shop, once again, getting ready to pound out some writing in my lovely Google Docs. I’m writing whatever pops in my head and later I’ll go back and edit and do some copy and pasting, lol.

The Lord brought this verse to my attention the other day:

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin….

Zechariah 4:10

I may feel discouraged that my writing is not taking off like I wish it would but this verse reminds me that the Lord rejoices in the fact that I’m working on it! I’m slowly beginning the process and that makes Him happy. 🙂

What hobbies do you have that just make you extremely happy when you’re doing it?

The Single Life

*sigh*

I haven’t been in a relationship since *ahem* 2008.

13 years.

Not one relationship since the boy (yes I call him boy because he was childish and broke up with me because of my mental illness.) claimed he couldn’t handle my mental issues. To which I responded, “YOU don’t have to handle anything. *I* have to deal with it. *I* will be living with this the rest of my life. YOU don’t have to do anything but just BE THERE for me.”

Childish

That was my last relationship.

I went through a period where I would cry myself to sleep. Why couldn’t I find someone? Why were all my friends finding their one true love?

What was I doing wrong? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough? What gives??

Eventually I finally realized that no boy is worth my tears. No boy is worth my time if he can’t handle my issues.

If God wants me to have someone, He will send “Prince Charming” my way!

For several years I clung to that belief.

Now here I am, 2 years from being 40 and I’m starting to give in to the idea that maybe I’m just not meant to have someone special. I’m not meant to be in a relationship.

God wants me to be single, I suppose.

I’m reminded of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7, where he talks about being single vs being married and how being single might be better because we are able to completely focus on God and do God’s work. I get that, I really do.

So what I need to ask God is this: to take away this desire to be in a relationship.

But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this. (verse 17)

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you (verse 40)

I decided to search through my posts and see what I’d written regarding my singleness. It’s crazy but I found a post from almost one year ago that I decided to share again. It’s funny how in one years time I have reverted back to being a little depressed about being single.

I know God has great things for me, married or not. I must ask God again to please take this desire to be in a relationship away so I can really focus on what’s truly important: my relationship with GOD! (FUNNY how I titled it my post the same as last years, LOL

The Single Life

Posted on  •Edit”The Single Life”

I have been single since 2008 (wow, 12 years?) I haven’t even gone out on a date.

(eh, don’t feel sorry for me! I’ve embraced the single life and I’m content. If God chooses to send someone my way, then okay! But if decides I am to remain single then so be it.)

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows–its better to stay unmarried, just as I am.”(1Corinthians 7:8, NLT)

Paul was saying that it’s better to remain single because of the opportunities it provides to serve Christ with no distractions.

I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Not being married, I’m able to do things without the distraction of a husband and children and taking care of them. I can devote more time to serving the Lord.

I am 37 and I’m single. 10 years ago this would have bothered me. But as I grow closer to the Lord I have realized that I don’t need anyone BUT God.

12 years ago I was in a relationship that didn’t end well. He essentially broke up with me because of my bipolar disorder. He said he couldn’t handle it anymore. I remember looking at him and crying, “You don’t have to handle this. I have to deal with this the rest of my life. I just need you to BE there for me.”

Nope, he ran. But you know what I said? Fine. And I moved on without him. I haven’t had a relationship since.  Honestly, I have moments, small moments when I wonder if I’ll ever find someone but then I spend time with God and it all goes away. I am content being single. God fills that void.

If I’m being honest, I will say this: I am very self-conscious about my appearance. See, I have very bad dental problems due to my medications causing tooth decay. Fibromyalgia also contributes to my dental problems Half my teeth are falling out. Therefore, I don’t smile much and when I do it’s a closed mouth smile. (One benefit from wearing a mask these days, LOL) If something makes me laugh I cover my mouth with my hand. I WILL NOT take pictures anymore because I just can’t stand to look at myself. I have to get dentures but I can’t afford them since I don’t have a job or dental insurance. (Anyone wanna start a GoFundMe page? I’m KIDDING!)

I think that’s the biggest reason why I don’t put myself out there and try to find someone.

I’ve accepted that this is how I am, this is how I look and everything else doesn’t matter.

GOD is all I need and I’m going to spend as much time with Him as I can and in the meantime, if He has someone planned for me, and I meet him, then so be it! But I’m not looking actively for anyone because I want God first in my life. Maybe I’ll be single forever, like Paul was. Maybe I’m not meant to have a significant other because it’ll be a distraction for me. And as we all know, I get distracted pretty easily. (Stupid ADD)

I will say this again: God has great plans for me….for YOU….for everyone! If only we would stop, be still and listen to His voice. He’s calling for you and for me……NOTHING can change God’s love for you.