running out of time

I realized tonight that my brother is going to spend eternity in hell if he were to die tonight. Well, I have known it for awhile but tonight while listening to Thank You Jesus For the Blood Applied I broke down in tears.

And I’m running out of time. I have had plenty of time to talk to him about Jesus Christ. And what have I done? I avoid him at all costs. We don’t have the best relationship. He IS 17 years older than me after all. Not that age matters but it’s just so hard to speak to him. Why do I have such a hard time?

He has had 3 heart attacks and a stroke and miraculously he’s still alive. He suffers from emphysema and he will be going for a CT scan of his lungs. He has been smoking since he was 13, possibly even younger and he’s 55 now.

I’m not going to lie….I have a huge feeling he has lung cancer. I’m not a doctor of course and I hope and pray I’m wrong. Honestly? I think HE thinks it’s cancer. He watched his own father slowly die because of smoking and yet it’s not enough to make him quit. I know he knows he needs to quit and I don’t know what its going to take for him to quit. One would think the heart attacks and stroke would scare him into quitting but sadly it has not.

He needs Jesus and this whole time I could be talking to him, telling him God loves him and what am I doing? NOTHING! I just don’t know HOW to talk to him.

I know he knows he needs to get his life straight with Jesus. He grew up in church, after all. He knows but has chosen not to believe.

Please pray for my brother and please pray for me to figure out a way to talk to him. He’s going to die and his blood will be on my hands because I could have done something. I could have planted the seed.

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

James 4:17