Mental/Physical Health Update

Hey guys,

So it’s been a rough couple of months. I’ve been dealing with my depression/bipolar disorder AND fibromyalgia relapse all at once. It’s been…well, it’s been downright miserable.

I hate this feeling of hopelessness. I hate this feeling of sadness that just consumes me. I hate the pain, both physical and mental. I hate being told to “snap out of it, ” “just push through it,” and “it’s all in your head.” (which, well, yeah it IS in my head but it’s not me making it up or something….it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain.) Believe me, it doesn’t help. I mean, it might be good advice for some, but for most people suffering from depression and other mental health disorders, it just doesn’t help.

I hate that Satan has his grip on me and the more and more I try to shake him off, the tighter he holds on.

So with that said…please say a prayer for me. I’m just not in a good place right now.

Have I Become Complacent?

According to the dictionary, complacency is defined as self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies

Complacency in a Christian’s life is dangerous. We fall into a routine where we ignore God, ignore His gentle whispers, and forget who He is and what He can do for us.

All we have to do is place our complete attention and focus on HIM! Not ourselves…HIM!

I definitely do not want to forget who the Lord is. I don’t want to forget His kindness, gentleness, and goodness. I don’t want to forget anything about Christ.

Yet sometimes I fall short. Okay, scratch that. I don’t sometimes fall short. I DO fall short. A LOT!

Lately, I’ve been in the danger zone of complacency. I find myself leaning into the world rather than leaning on Christ.

I find myself just going through the motions.

I don’t want this. I don’t want to just go through the motions as a Christian. You know…going to church, singing the songs, reading my Bible. I want to WANT Christ. I don’t want to make it a routine where I do these things without it changing my life.

I don’t wanna go through the motions

I don’t wanna go one more day

Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking

What if I had given everything

Instead of going through the motions?

Matthew West, “The Motions”

James 4:17 says, “Remember it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.”

Prayers Please

Hey y’all. Please pray for me. I was in a car accident yesterday and was t-boned. I’m fine, I’m okay. I’m just really sore and having fibromyalgia doesn’t help.

Also, I had a spinal tap today to rule out some health issues so my head is hurting a little. The procedure went well though and I should be hearing back in a couple of days

Verse of the Day-Matthew 3:8

I came across this verse during my devotions this morning and it’s so crazy how I’ve read this verse over and over before but never really thought about its meaning until today.

Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God

Matthew 3:8, NLT

If we’re going to be followers of Christ we must show it in our actions and words. We need others to see Jesus in us. How else are they going to come to know Christ?

If they see us acting no different than the world they are just going to assume that’s how we’re supposed to live. We become hypocrites.

We must be a light to the world so that the world sees Jesus.

You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden

Matthew 5:14, NLT

Covid Caught Me

Hey guys,

Well, it took two and a half years but Covid caught up with me. I’m feeling so much better than last week but I still have some lingering effects. I went back to work today but had to leave early because the weakness and fatigue were overpowering me.

My mom now has Covid, unfortunately. Actually, I think we both came down with it around the same time only hers took a little more time to show symptoms.

I hope to start blogging more consistently, but we’ll see how it goes.

So that’s been my last couple of weeks.

How are you all?

Which Soil?

³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

Matthew 13 3-8

¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Matthew 13:18-23

In my devotions this morning I read the parable of the sower. As I was reading I began thinking, “Which type of soil am I? Am I the good soil? Do I hear the Word and immediately let it take root, growing and producing fruit? Or do I let it fall on rocky or thorny ground, letting trials and persecutions bring me down, choking what little fruit may have been there?

What type of soil are you?

Bitterness Will Eat You Up

I have a confession.

I have been struggling with bitterness and have been struggling with it for quite some time now. I’m not going to hash out any details but am asking for prayers that God will work in my heart in order to let go of the extreme bitterness I have towards a certain person.

 

Uncontrolled temper is soon dissipated on others. Resentment, bitterness, and self-pity build up inside our hearts and eat away at our spiritual lives like a slowly spreading cancer.

– Jerry Bridges

¹⁵ See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness only makes trouble for the person who harbors resentment, not the person being resented. They are going about their lives most likely unaware of the bitterness you are harboring.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV) tells us to “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

In Colossians 3:13 we are told to  “make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.“

¹⁵ But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:15 (NLT)

It’s hard to forgive someone who hurt you deeply but allowing that bitterness and resentment to build up will only tear you down in the end.

Holding onto resentment

THIS!

Idols Everywhere

I came across a quote this morning while doing my devotions.

We easily indemnify ourselves of idolatry because we don’t worship golden status and our cars are not idols, yet we place more confidence in our salary to survive than in God. When your satisfaction lies in something other than your relationship with God, there is an idol lurking somewhere. Idols are much more dangerous than what is visible to the eye, it is an attitude that takes root in your heart. Fight against it because it wants to steal God’s place in your life.

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We live in an idol-driven world. We want what we want and we try our hardest to get it, meanwhile ignoring the warning flags that are going up everywhere trying to point us away from the world and point us to God. We allow worldly pleasures and desires to take over the #1 spot in our hearts, where God is supposed to be.

Idols come in all shapes and sizes.

How much time do you spend mindlessly scrolling through the latest Facebook posts, the latest Tik Tok videos, the latest Instagram reel? I, too, am guilty of this.

How much time do you spend watching shows on Netflix or Hulu?

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with these things, to a degree. It’s how we let it take first place in our heart that makes it bad.

No matter what it is….if I’m focusing more on those things rather than the Lord….it. is. an. idol!

Lately I’ve been distracted from turning to Jesus. I get so caught up in technology that I forget what’s really important. I have made an idol and placed it in front of Jesus. I’ve bumped Jesus to number 2, or 3 or even 4 instead of #1 in my life.

Who, or what, is #1 in your life?

Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

Colossians 3:5b

Watch Out, World!

The semester is over! Drum roll, please…..

I received an A in Creative Writing and a B in English Lit! I thoroughly enjoyed these two classes. I learned quite a bit!

Now I am going to take what I’ve learned and apply it with the hopes of writing my first book.

I had Chinese the other day and here was my fortune: “The world will soon be ready to receive your talents.” I found it so fitting, LOL. I sent it to my sister who text me back one word: “BOOK”

It is time I stop hiding behind my insecurity and negative thoughts and finally go after a dream I’ve had since I was a little girl.

I also think I know where my strength lies…and it’s with poetry. So that is what I’m going to start working on…a book of poetry.

How have you all been? It’s been awhile! What are you all working on? What dreams are you chasing?