Posted in adhd, anger, anxiety, beauty, bipolar, bitterness, forgiveness

Leave the Scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything. I don’t take pride in what I bring. But I’ll build an altar with the rubble You’ve found me in. And every stone will sing of what You can redeem…

Point of Grace

That quote above are lyrics from a song called, “Heal the Wound” by Point of Grace. I absolutely LOVE this song and I encourage you to take a listen to it.

I am not the person I once was. I found Christ when I was 19. It was 17 years ago back in March. But before I found Christ I was a miserable wreck of a person. I was depressed, angry all the time, a jerk to my family. Oh I grew up in church….sang all the songs, memorized the verses. My head was full of the knowledge of God but my heart was bitter. I was only in church because my mom made me go, if I’m being honest.

I hated my life. I wanted nothing more than to just stop living. If I stopped living the mental pain would, of course, stop. I was a cutter back then. But thank GOD I didn’t die back then because I’d definitely be in hell, where the pain would go on for eternity.

God saved me from myself. He grabbed a hold of my bitter, angry heart and turned it around.

I’m still bipolar. That will never go away. I’m on medication for life.

Yes, God could heal me from being bipolar. I do believe that. But I also believe He allows it to remain to remind me of where I was and how much I don’t want to become that person again.

It is my “thorn in the flesh.”

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 8-10

Posted in beauty, bible verses, christian living, christianity

Inner Beauty

attractive beautiful beautiful girl beauty
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’ve always struggled with my looks. I’ve never thought of myself as pretty. My self esteem has always been low. My confidence has always been almost non-existent. I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember.

I’ve gained some weight too. Apparently, fibromyalgia causes weight gain and the medicine I’m on FOR the fibro causes weight gain. Super. I’m determined to get the weight off but it’s a struggle.

And now that I’m struggling with dental problems, things have just gotten worse. I’m 35 years old and need dentures but can’t afford them. I have no dental insurance. I hate to smile these days because I am so embarrassed by how my teeth look.

But just this morning in my devotions, I was reminded that God doesn’t look at outward appearances like man does. In 1 Samuel 16:7, it says

….The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.

It’s our inner beauty that counts. It’s what our heart looks like that really matters. God doesn’t look at our outward flaws.

He cares about what is on the inside.

How is your heart “appearance?”

Do you struggle with inner beauty?