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Stagnant Faith No More

Now I’m just a beggar in the presence of a King

I wish I could bring so much more

But if it’s true You use broken things

Then here I am Lord, I’m all Yours

Matthew West, “Broken Things”

Lately I’ve been extremely restless. I know I’ll have to bring this up to my doctor and I’m sure an increase of my medication will be discussed.

So many thoughts race through my head. Am I worthy enough? Am I smart enough? Am I….enough?

I just wish I could get these thoughts of inadequacy and unworthiness out of my head. Satan knows my weaknesses and he is definitely on the warpath. He sees me panicking and is ready to swoop in and set up camp.

I fear I’ve become stagnant in my faith. I feel I’m not moving forward in my relationship with the Lord. I am feeling so disconnected with God and I realize it’s my fault. God hasn’t moved, it’s ME that’s stopped walking.

So if you wonder if the prayers you pray

Are bouncing off the ceiling, you’re feeling alone

I want you to know, know

You are known

And if you wonder if you’re just another nameless face

In a crowd, well, now you’re home

I want you to know, know

You are known

Matthew West, “You Are Known”

Y’all. Matthew West writes great songs! I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song of his that I didn’t like. I think one of my absolute favorites is “The Motions.” Definitely check it out if you’ve never heard it.

This might hurt, it’s not safe

But I know that I’ve gotta make a change

I don’t care if I break,

At least I’ll be feeling something

‘Cause just okay is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of life

Matthew West, “The Motions”

I know I must make a change. I’ve been stuck in this rut for far too long. I’m tired of going through the motions as a Christian. How am I serving God by living like this? That’s easy, I’m NOT. I feel I’ve failed you, my readers.

How can I be a witness if, in my own life, I’m not living the way I should be? I mean, c’mon! My blog is “All You Need Is Jesus!” I feel like a hypocrite. But that is going to change. I am slowly getting back on track and back in my walk with the Lord.

1 John 1:9 assures me that if I confess my sins, He is FAITHFUL and JUST to forgive my sins.

Bear with me as I find my way again.

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What Is True Christian Living (What Does NOT Make One A Christian?)

Such a thought provoking post.

Inside Cup

I’m going to try to write this as gently as I can. This topic is something I have been heated up about since I was 13 years old. It’s a topic that we very easily can discuss with finger-pointing at everyone else, except ourselves. I want to write this bearing myself in mind, and being open to falling short.

Another clarification I am going to put right at the beginning has to deal with godly living because I’m positive this is going to come up. Godly living is a fruit that comes from salvation, godly living does not give us salvation. Godly living is a process as we grow our relationship with Jesus Christ, something all believers should desire to grow in. A new believer should not be expected to have the maturity of a Christian who has been devoted for 30 years. See this post for my clarification between…

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It’s Been Awhile…(again)

I wish I had a good reason for being away for so long. But nope, I’ve just been lazy. I also wish I could say a lot has been happening these past few months….but again, nope. (stupid Corona.)

And lastly, I wish I could say I won’t take as long of a hiatus as I did from this blog but I can’t promise that won’t happen again. (I have this terrible habit of starting something than fail to see it through. I want to work on changing that, so please pray for if you will.)

How have you all been? It has been blistering hot these past several days. I’m talking temps into the 100s with heat indexes as high as 127. Can we say heat wave? I think on Friday it’s supposed to be in the low 90s so hey!!! A little cool wave, LOL

I have to have a sleep study done within the next month or so because apparently I snore. Apparently. Yeah, no I know I do. It’s woken me up a couple times. I’m thinking I have sleep apnea but I’ll found out soon enough!

I would like to write more but I’m literally falling asleep at my desk. I had to take a muscle relaxant and I can feel it’s effects slowing taking over my body, LOL.

I just wanted to get on here and let ya’ll know I am still here, I promise!

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Heartbreak

Jesus, Friend of Sinners…break our hearts for what breaks Yours…

Casting Crowns, “Jesus Friend of Sinners

My heart breaks so much for the family of George Floyd. What happened to him was downright inexcusable. It never should have happened. I can’t even imagine what his family is going through.

I’m struggling to write this. I am not trying to start a debate on this. I just know that this never should have happened. We need to be praying for his family. They need our support in all of this.

I’m not going to even begin talking about the “protests” that are happening all around the country because what is important right now is how this family is going to get through all of this.

We cannot pray in love and live in hate and still think we are worshiping God.”

A.W. Tozer

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Stir Crazy!

I’m going completely stir crazy! Oh don’t get me wrong…I have plenty I could be doing. I have tons of books to read, movies to watch, rooms to clean…but I think the idea of me having to stay inside is driving me absolutely insane! It’s the thought that I CAN’T go anywhere that is making me crazy.

The mall I work at has officially closed for the time being. All non essential businesses are closed. I filed for unemployment but it might take some time on that.

So tell me…what are you all doing to pass the time?

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Awkward….

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Yes, yes it is! I sneezed at work the other day and immediately turned to coworkers and exclaimed, “It’s just allergies, I promise!” LOL

The pollen on my car is crazy ridiculous! My eyes are itchy, watering…I’m sneezing like crazy.

Ahhh, welcome to allergy season in good ole Hampton Roads!

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Sick

I went to Urgent Care last night because I was feeling miserable. I had been feeling “off” the past couple of days but I woke up feeling worse..body aches, chills, sore throat.

They did the swab tests and everything. Good news, I don’t have the flu or strep (or coronavirus)  but I do have a viral infection with pharyngitis. I feel awful.

How’s your Friday going?

 

 

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Are My Beliefs MY Beliefs?

Y’all, I’m feeling deep tonight.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and wondering and reading about what I believe.

Satan is doing a number on me, causing me to doubt my salvation.

March 16 will be 17 years that I accepted Christ as my Savior. But what I’ve been wondering about lately is whether I acted on FEELINGS when I went to the altar or was it a true salvation experience.

And also….are my beliefs really my beliefs or are these beliefs what I was TAUGHT to believe growing up?

I asked my mom this question and she responded with: “Well what DO you believe?” I told her, “I believe Christ died for my sins and he is alive today! He will be coming again one day for his children.”

See, the problem I struggle with is sin. (Of course we ALL struggle with sin) but why do I continue to commit this one particular sin? Like Paul says in Romans,

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate, I do.

Romans 7:15

I know that just because I am a Christian doesn’t mean I won’t fall sometimes. I get that. We’re fallen creatures and sin can get the best of us.

*sigh* I have so much going on in my mind. My thoughts are racing like crazy and I’m half wondering if I’m getting ready to go into a relapse with my bipolar disorder. My thoughts are everywhere. I can’t sit still.

See? That’s another issue I have. How can one be a bipolar Christian? Doesn’t one negate the other?

The bottom line is this: Do I believe what I believe? I realize that probably doesn’t make sense…lol. But are my beliefs actually what I believe or is it just beliefs I was TAUGHT to believe my entire life.

I’m struggling tonight, y’all. If you wouldn’t mind saying a prayer for me that Satan will LEAVE and stop trying to make me doubt my salvation.