Posted in Faith, fear, Jesus, mental disorders, peace, phobias, worry

Fearless Faith

Fear Is a Liar by Zach Williams

When he told you you’re not good enough
When he told you you’re not right
When he told you you’re not strong enough
To put up a good fight
When he told you you’re not worthy
When he told you you’re not loved
When he told you you’re not beautiful
That you’ll never be enough
Fear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
‘Cause fear he is a liar

Disclaimer: Satan is REALLY not wanting me to post this. WordPress keeps crashing on me and it’s getting me frustrated. However…I will persevere. I WILL get this post out.  

 

Satan knows and uses my anxiety to try to bring me down. He knows I’m a chronic worrier(which I’m trying to work on.)For as long as I can remember I’ve been on medication for my anxiety/depression/bipolar disorder. Yet I still suffer from panic attacks and will sometimes fall into a deep depression. Medicine doesn’t cure the issues I have (in fact I was placed on a new medication today) but it helps keep my emotions at bay. Thank God I’m currently stable but there was a time I wasn’t. The anxiety would pile up and then the panic attacks came like clockwork.

But thank God we have Someone on our side. Someone to root us on and Someone who will love us unconditionally and through His perfect love drives out all fears!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.~~~2 Timothy 1:7

We need to look to Christ when doubts start flying. When that anxiety kicks in and pushes you towards a full-blown panic attack.  When Satan whispers in your ear that “you’re not good enough.” Look to Christ!!! He will give you what you truly need!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

 

 

Posted in adhd, anxiety, depression, Faith, fibromyalgia, worry

Fibro Fog

If you or a loved one suffers from fibromyalgia then you are aware of one of the more debilitating symptoms: the dreaded fibro fog. According to MedicineNet.com, fibro fog is:

 A type of cognitive dysfunction reported by many people with fibromyalgia. Also sometimes referred to as brain fog, its symptoms include difficulty with concentration, memory deficits, and confusion.

It can be very frustrating and I know for me it leads to depression.  For me, I will have moments where I will be talking and will completely forget what I was trying to say. I will stop mid sentence therefore making me look and feel pretty dumb.  My memory is terrible and I have the absolute worst time concentrating.  (Since I also have ADHD, the concentration problem can be worse at times)

I often have trouble recalling certain words when talking or even writing. Simple words for every day things. Words I never used to have trouble remembering.

(Funnily enough, I’m having trouble right now trying to get this blog post written.)

The combination of my struggles with the fibro fog and the insecurities it brings really puts a damper on things. I want to be positive, want to have confidence but the struggle is so very real.

I googled some verses on insecurity and came across several that have been very comforting:

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart     I Samuel 16:7

I struggle with my looks quite a bit and reading this verse really helps me to put things into perspective.

Some more verses I came across

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.    Philippians 4:6-9

These verses give me comfort because I know that by placing my trust in Him I can overcome any struggle I run into. I need not worry because He is right there beside me as I go through my insecurities and doubts.

Fibro fog may not be curable but with God’s help I can get through the frustrations it brings. And when I struggle with finding the right word, God is still right there beside me helping me to get through the difficulties.

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, blogging, christian living, church, depression, Faith, fear, fibromyalgia, grace, mental disorders, peace, phobias, song lyrics, worry, writers block

Why Is It So Hard?

I have all but lost my desire for writing. Now that I’m back to work, it seems I have let my writing fall by the wayside. After I get home from work I’m in so much pain from standing all day that I have no interest in writing.

I’m going to be honest with you all for a moment…..I’m struggling. With life, with my relationship with God, with just about everything. I haven’t lost my faith. I still believe but I’m finding it hard to set aside time to spend with God.

I’m human. We all are. We have flaws and always will. But what happens when you lose your desire for God? Why is it so hard to follow Him? I see others who are so devoted to God and have a deep relationship with Him and I wonder why I can’t seem to find that sort of relationship. I know it’s available, I know it’s there. I thought I used to have it.  Maybe I never have.

I feel like a fraud. This blog is supposed to be me telling others about Christ and His love for us. And here I am, struggling. I’ve abandoned my blog in recent weeks.

I know we all struggle. As long as we are on this earth we will struggle from time to time.

I do know that God is still working in me. As I write this, I’m listening to Mandisa’s song, Unfinished. If you haven’t heard it I definitely advise you to check it out. Here’s some of the lyrics,

Not scared to say it
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy
‘Cause that world I painted
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down
But I picked myself back up
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me
He started something good
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I’m just unfinished
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I know God is not finished with me yet.  And I know if you are struggling right now, like I am, that God isn’t finished with you yet either. Keep your head up and focused on Him.
That’s what I am doing.
But why is it so hard???
Here is another song that is speaking to me right now. It’s called Need You Now by Plumb. Such a powerful song!
Well, everybody’s got a story to tell
And everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
‘Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn’t plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

I don’t know where you are right now in your walk with God, whether you’re struggling, as I am right now, or if things are going great for you right now but just remember this: God is not finished with you and has great plans for you.

I honestly believe this though I’m struggling right now.
I just wish it wasn’t so hard.
Posted in anxiety, depression, Faith, fear, fibromyalgia, mental disorders, prayer, worry

An Apology

I would like to apologize to you all who read my posts. I haven’t been writing much lately and it just feels like I’ve lost my desire to write. I want to get it back but I don’t know how to do it.

I have been having issues with my fibromyalgia and not having my Lyrica for several weeks, leaving me in pain. I finally was able to get my medication but it will take a week or two to fully get back in my system.

I want to be completely honest with you: I’m struggling. Spiritually, Mentally, Physically. It’s so hard being a bipolar Christian.

This blog is supposed to be about me telling people about Jesus and lately I haven’t been doing that. I feel like a fraud.

I don’t want to shut down this blog. I want so badly to get back into the swing of things and be the person I was when I first started this blog.

So I’m going to dig deep into Scripture and pray that God will show me what I am supposed to do.

Pray for me, if you don’t mind.

Posted in anxiety, Faith, fear, peace, phobias, worry

What’s YOUR Phobia?

**Originally posted in January 2015**

So we all have something we’re afraid of, right? And to that particular person the fear they have can be serious! For instance, some people are afraid of clowns while to others having a fear of clowns is just silly. But to the person with coulrophobia (fear of clowns, I looked it up!) the fear is real!

There are MANY phobias that exist! Here is a List of Phobias that I came across. Crazy right? I had no idea there were that many phobias out there!  And MINE is on the list. It’s a phobia that I’ve had since the 5th grade, possibly even younger than that. What’s it called, you ask?

Emetophobia. Yes, I have a fear of throwing up. I  remember one day when I was a child someone got sick and I went into a full on panic attack.

Now of course, no one LIKES throwing up. But to a person with emetophobia, when we throw up or if we see someone throw up we panic. I mean, PANIC. I know for me, my heart starts racing, my hands start shaking and I just feel out of control. The classic symptoms of an anxiety attack. At least for me, that is.

Over the years, I have gotten better at handling this fear. There was a time when I was a child that you couldn’t even mention the word “throw up”or “puke”, or “vomit” around me. It would throw me into a panic attack. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to better control it. I do take a medication for anxiety which helps a lot.

People with emetophobia will distance themselves from people who are sick. We will avoid eating certain foods that might make us sick. And a lot of women will avoid getting pregnant because of the fear of morning sickness. I’ve never been pregnant and because of this fear of mine, I don’t plan on becoming pregnant and having kids. Kids get sick. Kids will throw up. It’s inevitable. So I want to avoid it as much as I can.

It’s a very strange fear, I know. Trust me, I know how weird it is. But its something I’ve never been able to shake off. It’s something I’m going to live with for the rest of my life and I just have to make adjustments!

A verse that helps me when I’m having an anxiety attack is found in Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Anyways, just thought I’d share this. Emetophobia is real, y’all. I sure wish it didn’t exist though!

Do you have any phobias?

Posted in bible verses, christian living, christianity, Faith, fear, peace, worry

Waiting on the Lord

I don’t know about you but I am not the most patient person. I hate waiting.

I’m not as bad as I used to be, however, as I grow closer to the Lord. He is teaching me patience. He is teaching me to wait on Him. His timing is best. He is never in a hurry but He is always on time.

It’s hard though, isn’t it? Waiting on the Lord. His timing is not necessarily our timing. He knows what’s best for us. We may think we know what is best for us, in the moment, but ultimately it’s God who knows what’s best.

Still, it’s hard waiting.

I’m currently waiting on God for a specific need to be taken care of. I’ve been waiting for quite some time now. To me, it seems like God could answer the prayer immediately but God has His reasons for allowing me to wait this long. I’m being taught to lean on Him throughout the struggles this situation has caused. I’m being taught to rely on Him for all my needs.

I came across this verse in Mark that has become very dear to me in the past couple of weeks.

Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Mark 11:24

I have this verse taped up so I can see it every day to remind me. Keep on praying. As it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.”

I know that God knows what is best for me and it may not necessarily line up with what I want but in the end it will be exactly what I need.

That’s what I need to remember.  That’s what the Lord is teaching me.

Image result for pray without ceasing

 

What has the Lord been teaching you lately?

 

 

Posted in bible verses, bipolar, christian living, christianity, Faith, fear, Jesus, love, peace, phobias, rest, worry

From Panic to Peace

A woman with dyed red hair sips from a teacup at an outdoor cafe table
Photo by Dc Lovensky on Unsplash

When I was 17, I started having panic attacks. To this day, I have no idea where they came from. Nothing significant had occurred in my life. They just showed up. Out of nowhere.

 

One night, as I was trying to get to sleep, I had a major panic attack. It was so bad that my hands seized into a fist, my heart was racing super fast and I literally thought I was dying. My mom tried her level best to unclench my fists but she couldn’t. It was miserable. My mom told me later that when she put her hand over my heart, it felt like a heard of horses galloping.

Mom took me to an urgent care where the doctor put me on Xanax, which made my panic attacks worse. So they switched to Klonopin. I was on that for years and for the most part, it kept my panic attacks at bay. I would still have some but they weren’t nearly as bad.

Well, eventually, I had to stop taking the Klonopin because I no longer had insurance and so I couldn’t afford it. I started going to a clinic in my city that helps those who are uninsured and they put me on Lexapro. That stopped working so my doctor put me on Celexa which I am still on. And it works wonders. I still have minor setbacks but they are nowhere NEAR as bad as that one night when I was 17.

But you know what the best medicine is? God’s Word. I find that when I’m feeling even remotely anxious, I just turn to God’s Word and look up Scripture on anxiety.

Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Some people believe that medications are not needed and that just by having enough faith is enough. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe this. When a person has a panic disorder or suffers from depression, there is a chemical imbalance taking place in the brain. In some cases, medication is a necessity, as in my case. I tried to wean myself off my medications once and it was awful.

Photo by Bethany Laird on Unsplash

Some more Scripture you can read if you are feeling anxious:

 

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:33-34

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.|
Jeremiah 29:11

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

 

We live in an anxiety-driven world. But God’s Word promises us that as His children, one day we will live in a peace-filled world! One day He is coming back for us and all of life’s worries will be gone! Can I get an AMEN!

 

Have you ever had a panic attack? What did it feel like to you?

Posted in Faith, fear, Jesus, love, rest, worry

Our Battles…..

 

I know it can be frustrating when life seems to hand us trial after trial. Just when we come through one trial, another one seems to be on its tail.  But if we remain faithful to God, if we give all our cares to Him, He WILL take care of us! We only need to “be still.” Being still can be hard, I know. But just give it to God. Nothing is impossible for Him. 🙂

 

Posted in christianity, Faith, fear, grace, love, worry

Overcoming Worry: Turning Fear into Faith

Image result for verses about worry

I don’t know about you but I have a huge tendency to worry about every little thing.

Well last night I came across a booklet from Discovery Series about overcoming worry and turning that worry into faith. It was very helpful and I’d like to share a little bit of what I read. 🙂

Worry Defined:

Worry is a feeling of uneasiness, apprehension or dread usually related to negative thoughts of something that may happen in the future. Such possibilities may be important to think about, but those thoughts are healthy only if we are able or willing to do something positive about them.

Worry defeats us when it replaces wise action or needed rest with fearful emotion—David Egner

How Should We Deal With Worry?

Read. Pray. Trust. Obey

  1. Read the Bible–something to feast on
  2. Pray–someone to feast with
  3. Trust-trusting God and releasing our worries to Him
  4. Obey-Obey God in the things we CAN control

 

How Can We Put our Worries to Work for Us?

  • Let Worry Turn Our Attention to God
    • He is everywhere
    • He knows everything
    • He is all-powerful
    • He will never leave or forsake us
  • Let Worry Turn our Attention to the Words of Jesus
    • Matthew 6:25-34
      • the opportunities of heaven are more important than the potential losses of life
  • Turn Worry into Prayer
    • Philippians 4:6-7
  • A Practical Approach to  Worry
    • Accept What We Cannot Change
    • Give to God What We Cannot Change

“Being burdened down with care can reflect a lack of trust in Him.”

We just have to remember that God is in control and He knows what is best for our lives. When we find ourselves worrying, turn that worry into a prayer and let God know your concerns.

 

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