Posted in anxiety, fear, writers block, writing

I Don’t Feel Like Writing….

…but I’m going to anyway!

It’s been a long time! I haven’t been on here much throughout this whole quarantined life we have going on. (How are you all doing, by the way? Staying safe I hope!)

I can’t believe I haven’t been taking advantage of all this free time to write!

But the problem is this: I just haven’t felt like writing lately! I’m not in a bad place mentally, in fact I’m doing so much better. I just go through ruts where writing just doesn’t sound appealing.

But tonight I’m going to force myself to write and see what comes of it.

For as long as I can remember, writing has always been there for me. I could sit down and pop out poem after poem in a matter of minutes. Then it stopped. I stopped. And I let the years waste away when I could have been writing.

I came across this quote that I have since printed out and taped above my desk:

If you want to write, you can.

Fear stops most people from writing, not lack of talent.

Who am I? What right have I to speak? Who will listen to me?

You are a human being with a unique story to tell.

You have every right.

—Richard Rhodes

I think, no I KNOW, that fear is keeping me from writing. So that is what I need to get past. I need to get past the fear that I’m not worth it. Past the fear that cripples me. Past the fear that I’m not good enough.

Remember a couple of years ago when I told you all that I was going to write a book? Yeah, I definitely let that fall by the wayside. I let fear win. I let my problems get in the way.

You know, I can’t go any further until I tell you that “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson (LOVE HER!) literally JUST started playing and I had to laugh. What a perfect song to be playing when I’m talking about my fear of writing.

Just take a look at the lyrics!

I’ll spread my wings, and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Coincidence? I don’t think so! 🙂

What is it that is holding you up in life? What is that one thing you know you’re meant to be doing but are letting fear take the reigns…

I’ve let fear of not being good enough take the reigns for far too long.

I’ve always been told to “write what you know” but I always respond with “I don’t know what I know!”

And it’s time I start figuring out “what I know!” No more “I don’t know”

Posted in writers block, writing

Writer’s Block Strikes Again

cropped-pexels-photo-834897.jpeg

I’ve been wanting to write the last several days and yet when I attempt it, nothing. At all. Nothing comes out. The dreaded writer’s block strikes again.

Maybe my problem is that I don’t know what I want to write. LOL

Writing can be so therapeutic. Being able to lose yourself in a story can be so much fun.

But I have no ideas in my head. There. Are. No. Ideas.

Help!!!!

All you writers out there….what do you do when writer’s block hits?

 

 

Posted in writers block, writing

“Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho…

….it’s off to work I go.”

Well, not for another hour but since I have time I thought I’d write a blog post.

I haven’t been doing much writing lately. Oh, I’ve been writing on here but I haven’t been working on any other projects. Everything has been sitting on the back burner as I try to figure out what to write.

I’ve been distracted as of late. I have been spending too much time on social media. Plus, I come home from work exhausted and not wanting to write. (Stupid fibromyalgia and brain fog)

When I was in the 4th grade we were asked to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up. My little 9 year old self immediately put pencil to paper and wrote. Then it dawned on me. I wanted to be a writer! (I sure wish I had kept that essay.)

Writing was so much fun for me as I grew up. In high school, I started writing poetry and even had a couple of them published in anthologies, which my mom of course bought and they are now sitting in our living room.

But soon, my writing sort of hit a plateau. Writing just wasn’t fun for me anymore. And I didn’t understand why.

Of course, it was around this time that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was 17. Then about 5 years later I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I hated life, you guys. I hated it so much. I started writing again but it was dark stuff. Stuff I’d never share with anyone. In fact, I believe I’ve thrown it away.

I found Jesus through all of this and while I still struggle with my rollercoaster of emotions, I know that Jesus is with me and will get me through it all. I feel as God has called me to write. It’s been a passion of mine since I was 9 years old. I may have lost my way along the years but I know that if I turn my concerns over to Him, He will get me through this. 🙂

How do you write through the frustrations of writer’s block?

 

 

 

Posted in anxiety, bipolar, blogging, christian living, church, depression, Faith, fear, fibromyalgia, grace, mental disorders, peace, phobias, song lyrics, worry, writers block

Why Is It So Hard?

I have all but lost my desire for writing. Now that I’m back to work, it seems I have let my writing fall by the wayside. After I get home from work I’m in so much pain from standing all day that I have no interest in writing.

I’m going to be honest with you all for a moment…..I’m struggling. With life, with my relationship with God, with just about everything. I haven’t lost my faith. I still believe but I’m finding it hard to set aside time to spend with God.

I’m human. We all are. We have flaws and always will. But what happens when you lose your desire for God? Why is it so hard to follow Him? I see others who are so devoted to God and have a deep relationship with Him and I wonder why I can’t seem to find that sort of relationship. I know it’s available, I know it’s there. I thought I used to have it.  Maybe I never have.

I feel like a fraud. This blog is supposed to be me telling others about Christ and His love for us. And here I am, struggling. I’ve abandoned my blog in recent weeks.

I know we all struggle. As long as we are on this earth we will struggle from time to time.

I do know that God is still working in me. As I write this, I’m listening to Mandisa’s song, Unfinished. If you haven’t heard it I definitely advise you to check it out. Here’s some of the lyrics,

Not scared to say it
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy
‘Cause that world I painted
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down
But I picked myself back up
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me
He started something good
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I’m just unfinished
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I know God is not finished with me yet.  And I know if you are struggling right now, like I am, that God isn’t finished with you yet either. Keep your head up and focused on Him.
That’s what I am doing.
But why is it so hard???
Here is another song that is speaking to me right now. It’s called Need You Now by Plumb. Such a powerful song!
Well, everybody’s got a story to tell
And everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
‘Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn’t plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

I don’t know where you are right now in your walk with God, whether you’re struggling, as I am right now, or if things are going great for you right now but just remember this: God is not finished with you and has great plans for you.

I honestly believe this though I’m struggling right now.
I just wish it wasn’t so hard.
Posted in 2018, writers block, writing

What Does Writing Mean To You?

When I was in the 4th grade, we were given an assignment. That assignment was to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I liked to write and therefore I wanted to be a writer!

However, as the years went by I stopped writing. It no longer held the same excitement for me anymore. I grew tired of it for some reason.

In my junior and senior years, I got back into it and started writing tons of poetry. Page after page of poetry. In my senior year of high school, I fell into a deep depression and when I wrote, it was dark. Page after page of hate filled rants. I wasn’t a Christian at the time so my writing was very depressing.

I still suffer from depression, even as a Christian, but with God on my side, my writing has taken a turn for the better! My writing is light and full of, mostly, positive things. And even now, as the words struggle to come out, I know God is with me.

Writing can be very therapeutic if you let it. Just sit down and let the words flow. Sometimes it will be hard. Sometimes the words just won’t flow. But I’ve learned to give it to God.

Right now the words aren’t flowing for me, lol. I keep getting distracted and my mind is drawing a blank on what to write about.


I’m currently in South Carolina visiting my sister and her family for the week. My sister recently received a job promotion and is now living in South Carolina and working in North Carolina.

I may not be on here nearly as much while I’m down here but I will try to check in as much as I can.

 

 

 

 

Posted in bible verses, christian living, christianity, Faith, fear, peace, song lyrics, writers block, writing

The Struggle is Real….

Image result for writer's block when your imaginaryI’ve been struggling with my writing again as of late. I know the writing is IN me but I can’t get it OUT. All of you fellow writers can probably agree you’ve been in this situation before.

The dreaded writer’s block has struck again.

And it’s frustrating because I want so badly to write, to get my words out there, whether on screen or on paper.

Maybe my motives are all wrong. Am I writing for the right reasons? Am I writing for God? Because ultimately it’s about God.

Maybe I’m trying too hard. Maybe I just need to take a step back and figure out where I’m trying to go with my writing. Who am I trying to honor with my writing? Am I just trying to bring the glory to myself or am I honestly wanting to bring it to God?

To be honest, I think I already know the answer. But I don’t want it to be that way. Not anymore. I don’t want it to be about me anymore.

Real…my heart is aching to be real….

Point of Grace, “Fight”

I want to bring glory to God with my writing. I honestly do.  Colossians 3:23 tells us “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

In 1 Corinthians 10:31 it says “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

So right now…at this very instant…I’m giving this writing struggle over to God. If writing is what I am called to do then He will show me and give the words to write. I want my words to mean something. I don’t want my words to become empty.

This song seems appropriate right now. I know I’ve posted it before but I feel the need to share it again.

 

“Fight”
Point of Grace

How clever is my pride, how it deceives my mind
To think I am in control when I have really lost it all
How brilliant is my greed for what it says I need
And then I’ve come to find I’m empty on the inside
Real, my heart is aching to be real
So I am coming to You
All my broken motives, all my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness now I understand where it leads
I wanna be in Your love, I wanna be so much more
I know You’re reaching out so what am I fighting You for
So what am I fighting You for
How quick is my doubt to leave my heart without
The presence of Your peace so that I scarce believe
How pardoned is my guilt to crush the life You built
And to keep me far away from any kind of shame
Real, my heart is aching to be real
So I am coming to You
All my broken motives, all my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness now I understand where it leads
I wanna be in Your love, I wanna be so much more
I know You’re reaching out so what am I fighting You for
‘Cause only You can save me
And only You can change me
And only You can love me
Here I come, here I come
So I come to You
All my broken motives, all my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness ’cause I understand where it leads
I wanna be in Your love, I wanna be so much more
I know You’re reaching out so what am I fighting You
All my broken motives, all my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness now I understand where it leads
I wanna be in Your love, I wanna be so much more
I know You’re reaching out I don’t wanna fight anymore
I don’t wanna fight anymore
I don’t wanna fight anymore
I don’t wanna fight anymore
I don’t wanna fight
Posted in writers block, writing

Just keep writing!

CWG9X4lWwAEMmcdThe inspiration for my writing is slowly but surely returning. I’m still having bouts of writer’s block but I just write through it. 🙂

Just keep writing, Just keep writing…. 🙂

I’ve been going to a local coffee shop and the words have slowly been coming to me.

I’ve been praying that the Lord will give me the right words to write. I want my writing to glorify Him and Him alone.

I just love to write.

So here I am, at my local coffee shop, once again, getting ready to pound out some writing in my lovely Google Docs. I’m writing whatever pops in my head and later I’ll go back and edit and do some copy and pasting, lol.

The Lord brought this verse to my attention the other day:

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin….

Zechariah 4:10

I may feel discouraged that my writing is not taking off like I wish it would but this verse reminds me that the Lord rejoices in the fact that I’m working on it! I’m slowly beginning the process and that makes Him happy. 🙂

 

What hobbies do you have that just make you extremely happy when you’re doing it?

Posted in bible verses, bullet journaling, christian living, christianity, Faith, writers block

My Own Worst Critic

I have a tendency of being too hard on myself. I beat myself up over things. I think too hard about some things. I am my own worst critic.

I’m getting so frustrated with myself because I lack any and all creativity.  This bullet journal is not going well for me. I have no artistic bone in my body. I may shelve the bullet journal for a while until I can figure out why I’m actually doing it. Am I trying to do a bullet journal for ME? Or because everyone seems to be doing one and I don’t want to feel left out?

So until I can figure out the answer to that question, no bullet journal for me! 🙂


I haven’t been feeling inspired lately when it comes to my writing. But I’ve taken all of the ideas I’ve been given from my wonderful WordPress family to heart and am going to work hard to write what I know.

I made a joke once: “I know I’m supposed to write what I know but the trouble is I don’t know anything!” LOL, I know that I know things but I don’t feel that I know things worth sharing.

I can’t force the writing. It has to flow.

So what I’m going to do is give it all to God and let Him guide me.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says,

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I just want to thank all of y’all who have been praying for me. I really appreciate it. 🙂

 

Posted in adhd, bipolar, fear, writers block, writing

Trying too Hard

Hey y’all!

So I have always loved to write. Ever since the 4th grade when we were asked to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up and it was then that I just fell in love with writing.

But here I am, years and years later, with nothing to show for myself. And it’s my fault, I know this. I let myself fall out of love with writing. For years I didn’t write a single thing.

But last year, the Lord prompted me to start writing again. And so I decided to wipe the “dust” from my old WordPress site and revamp it.

But y’all….I’m struggling again. And I think it’s because I’m trying too hard. My mind is blank. Writer’s block has struck again. 😦

I want so badly to fall in love with writing again.

Do any of my fellow writers out there have any tips for me?

Posted in adhd, writers block, writing

Day 1: Nothing, Nada……

no_inspiration

I made the decision yesterday to step out in faith and pursue my writing career.  It’s time I got serious about it. Sooooo…….

Day 1: nothing, nada. Those cobwebs covering ideas I have are thick and I can’t seem to break through them.  I have sat at my laptop and stared at the blinking cursor and sighed.

I need inspiration.

I’ve been told to “write what I know.” Problem with that? I’m not quite sure I know what I know! LOL 🙂

It’s going to take some time, I know this. But I’m going to fight through the horribleness that is writer’s block and get some writing done today. I WILL do it.

Maybe I’ll go back through old writings and drudge up some ideas from there.