Posted in anger, bitterness, forgiveness, grace, Jesus

The Root of Bitterness

woman sitting under tree
Photo by Rio Guruh Imawan on Pexels.com

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

Bitterness is dangerous. It can and will consume a person if they’re not careful. I have struggled a lot these past several weeks with bitterness towards a certain situation. I have dealt with what I consider righteous anger towards the situation but then I learn more and bitterness will slowly start to take root.

I can’t turn away from this situation. Meaning until it resolves it’s always going to be around. But I can control how I deal with it.

I thought I had dealt with the anger but suddenly new things come into light and boy do I get upset. Because of my bipolar disorder,  I have a harder time dealing with anger. I can get worked up so quickly. But in the last two years, I have done a lot of growing in Christ and have allowed Him to step in and take control (most of the time. I am still human after all. I’m still going to mess up.)

Being a bipolar is my thorn in the flesh, I honestly believe that. God definitely could take away my illness but I truly believe He’s using it to help me grow closer to Him and to remind me to lean on Him when I’m struggling with something.

Bitterness, at first, is not something that can be seen. It can, however, be felt, little by little if we let it grow. We must learn to rip out the bitterness by the root. It does no good to just chop it down. No, it must be grabbed by the root and tossed. If we let it continue to grow in our hearts, it suddenly will sprout and out comes anger, slander, heartache. Bitterness will turn to anger. Anger will produce sin if we’re not careful. When we seek revenge, when we act on our anger, we are in danger of sinning.

Check out my post on anger: Be Angry and Sin Not

Ephesians 4:31 says ” Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. (ESV)

Bitterness doesn’t have to take root. I know, you’re probably thinking, “Well, Leigh, you have no idea what’s happened to me. I have a right to be bitter.”

Let God take control. Give Him your bitterness before it takes root.

 

Posted in adhd, bible verses, bipolar, christian living, christianity, Faith, fear, forgiveness, grace, Jesus, love, mental disorders, peace, redemption, rest

Battle for My Mind

Satan is constantly whispering in my ear, “You’re not good enough. You can’t do this. Just give up now.”

My inner voice responds to him “Shut up. You know nothing. Go away.”

Then it goes quiet. Nothing. No voices for a few minutes.

Then comes the voice that I have grown to know and love. The small still voice that is the Lord’s. He tells me I AM good enough. I AM able to do this. Don’t give up.”

I know what voice I need to listen to. It’s obvious. But Satan’s voice then comes roaring like a lion. It’s his voice versus God’s voice. They’re battling for my mind.

It’s a never-ending battle.

A battle for my mind, my heart, my soul.

Who will win?

Who will I LET win?

It’s up to me, really.

Who do I choose? God or Satan?

Heaven or Hell?

I choose God

I choose Heaven

But there are days where my actions clearly choose the opposite.

There are days I give in to temptation. I listen to Satan’s voice.

I forget momentarily who I am.

A child of the King.

I’ve let Him down once again.

But here’s the beauty of it. He will always take me back! He waits for me with arms wide open when I realize the error of my ways. When I realize how foolish I’ve been. When I realize that that missing piece in my heart is just a prayer away.

I’m a bipolar Christian with a desire to bring others to Christ. To help them see the error of their ways. To help them see that the missing piece in their heart is just a prayer away.

Woman sits in the park reading Colossians in the bible
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Being bipolar and a Christian is definitely not easy. I struggle daily with racing thoughts and distractions. Satan knows my weaknesses and uses them against me. I try my best to cling to God through these times but sometimes my fleshly desires kick in and I let go and try to go my way.

 

But then I hear His voice, ever so softly, urging me to return to Him. To reclaim the gift He gave me. The gift of salvation.

Redemption for my sins.

He loves me with an agape love. An unconditional love. An everlasting love. His love never fails. Is never rude. Is never harsh. He loves me.

Despite my failures

Despite my shortcomings.

Lord, it is my desire to please you. To live a life that glorifies You. It is my desire to bring others to you. Help me to stop being so scared. To stop being….well, me! You created me. You love me. You know what I can do, even if I don’t.

Lord, you have great plans for me. Point me in the right direction. I want to do Your will. I’m tired of trying to do it all on my own. Especially when we both know I can’t do it all on my own. I need You and I’m begging You to help me cling to You throughout all the hardships I am going through. You are teaching me something, Lord. Help me to understand what it is.

And He loves YOU just as much! He loves YOU the same way. 

Won’t you come to Him?

 

Posted in christianity, forgiveness, grace, love

Forgiveness

Last night at church, our lesson was on forgiveness.  I, and I’m sure most of you, have struggled with this at one time or another. Our main lesson was in Matthew 18:21-35, The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Basically? We are to forgive as GodSee the source image has forgiven us. It’s honestly that simple. But unfortunately, because we are human, it’s hard to execute sometimes. Especially when we have that one person who continually hurts us. Seriously, why should we keep forgiving them? Well the answer is really simple….because God keeps forgiving us.

We mess up time and time again and yet he shows his unfailing love towards us and forgives us.

Not forgiving someone only creates bitterness in our hearts. We end up holding a grudge towards that person. And it says in Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you.

So as we celebrate this Christmas season and remember Christ’s birth, let’s take the time to search our hearts and if we are harboring unforgiveness then we should take a moment and let the bitterness go and forgive that particular person.

But Leigh, you say, you don’t know the hurt they’ve done to me. You don’t know the pain they’ve caused. You’re right, I don’t. But I do know the pain we’ve caused Christ and look at how much he forgives us.

Image result for forgiveness bible verses

 

 

 

Posted in books, christianity, Faith, grace, Jesus

Divine Direction

A few posts back I mentioned a few books that were on my TBR list. I never finished One Way Love by Tullian Tchividjian. He made some good points but in the end, I just couldn’t finish it. Maybe one day I will revisit it.

I went to LifeWay the other day and came across a new book by Craig Groeschel.(Yes, I know I have plenty of books I need to read….don’t need to be buying any more books. But what can I say? I’m a book junkie)  He’s written quite a few books and I’ve only read The Christian Atheist, which was very good, by the way. Anyways, this book is called Divine Direction and it’s pretty good! He reminds me a lot of Kyle Idleman, another great author.

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Synopsis:

“Master the decisions that will make your life everything God wants it to be.

Every day we make choices. And those choices accumulate and eventually become our life story. What would your life look like if you became an expert at making those choices?

In this inspiring guidebook, New York Times bestselling author Craig Groeschel shows how the choices that are in your power, if aligned with biblical principles, will lead to a life you’ve never imagined.

Divine Direction will help you seek wisdom through seven principles. You’ll consider one thing to stop that’s hindering you; how to start a new habit to re-direct your path; where you should stay committed; and when you should go even if it’s easier to stay. The book also includes criteria that will help you feel confident in the right choice, and encourages you with principles for trusting God with your decisions. 

What story do you want to tell about yourself? God is dedicated to the wonderful plan he’s laid out for you. The achievable and powerful steps in Divine Direction take you there one step at a time, big, or small.

 

I think I have found another favorite author! Like I said earlier, his writing style is very similar to Kyle Idleman’s. They both know how to pull you into what they’re trying to get across.

He is the Senior Pastor of Life.Church, which created the popular Bible App YouVersion. Image result for youversion

What books are you reading these days?

Who are your favorite authors?

 

 

 

Posted in christianity, Faith, grace, Jesus, love, redemption, rest, thanksgiving

Redeemed

 

 

I love this song by Big Daddy Weave. It’s wonderful to know and experience God’s love and to know that He’s not finished with me yet. I fail Him constantly but He’s always faithful.

Redeemed

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be

Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
‘Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be
Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be
Jesus, I’m not who I used to be
‘Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed