Leave the Scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything. I don’t take pride in what I bring. But I’ll build an altar with the rubble You’ve found me in. And every stone will sing of what You can redeem…

Point of Grace

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That quote above are lyrics from a song called, “Heal the Wound” by Point of Grace. I absolutely LOVE this song and I encourage you to take a listen to it.

I am not the person I once was. I found Christ when I was 19. It was 17 years ago back in March. But before I found Christ I was a miserable wreck of a person. I was depressed, angry all the time, a jerk to my family. Oh I grew up in church….sang all the songs, memorized the verses. My head was full of the knowledge of God but my heart was bitter. I was only in church because my mom made me go, if I’m being honest.

I hated my life. I wanted nothing more than to just stop living. If I stopped living the mental pain would, of course, stop. I was a cutter back then. But thank GOD I didn’t die back then because I’d definitely be in hell, where the pain would go on for eternity.

God saved me from myself. He grabbed a hold of my bitter, angry heart and turned it around.

I’m still bipolar. That will never go away. I’m on medication for life.

Yes, God could heal me from being bipolar. I do believe that. But I also believe He allows it to remain to remind me of where I was and how much I don’t want to become that person again.

It is my “thorn in the flesh.”

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 8-10

Stuck?

Have you ever found yourself stuck? Like, you just don’t know which way to go? Like life is just knocking us over and over?

Does life seem pointless sometimes?

Do you feel unloved at times?

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Turn to God. He will show you the right way to go. He will be your guiding light.

Look to Him always. He will never fail you.

He loves you so much. He longs to have a relationship with you.

Romans 5:8 tells us this:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He loves us so much despite our sinful nature. Despite our shortcomings. Despite our failures. God. Loves. Us.

His love is unconditional.

Simply put, he loves us with a love that overcomes our failures.

Simply put, God IS love.

Photo by Skye Studios on Unsplash

 

 

Seeking God

¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

I grew up in church. I participated in church functions. But I never searched after God. I never actively read my Bible as a teenager. I THOUGHT I was a Christian because I went to church and participated in events.

I was just going through the motions, however. And when I was 19 years old I finally found God. We had an evangelist come and speak at our church and it was a statement he made that got my attention and made me realize I was not who I thought I was. He told us, “You can be 99% sure about salvation but you’re still 100% lost. Right then, I realized I had all the head knowledge of God but no heart knowledge. And on March 16, 2003, I gave my life to Christ. I sought after God.

It will be 15 years on March 16th that I gave my life to the Lord. My spiritual birthday.

I’ve had my moments of weakness, however, and did stray from the Lord for some time in these past 15 years but last July I finally got serious and finally realized it was time to stop playing church. It was time to get serious about following the Lord.

God doesn’t hide from us! He wants to have a close relationship with us if we would just seek Him. And if we seek Him with all our heart and soul, we will find Him!

⁹ But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Deuteronomy 4:29

And so I rededicated my life to the Lord and have been in His Word ever since. The thought of living a life separate from God absolutely terrifies me. I don’t want to be anywhere where God isn’t.

Y’all….God is so awesome! I fall in love with Him every day. He has ways of showing Himself to me that just make me stand in awe of Him.

I want to be in God’s will. And I know that I must pick up my cross daily. I must deny myself and follow after Him. I know that I will have struggles. I’m currently in the midst of a struggle but I know without a doubt that the Lord is right here beside me and is in control.

Jesus is becoming my best friend. He is my Protector, my Prince of Peace, my All in all. He’s my Shepherd, my Comforter. He’s the King of kings and Lord of lords. He is worthy to be praised! He is my GOD!

Who is Jesus to you? 

 

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I pray that your day is great! May we always remember the true meaning of Christmas! So many times we tend to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. But the greatest gift of them all arrived in a manger 2,000 years ago. Without this gift we would be doomed to a horrible life in sin. But God loved us SO much that He sent His only Son to the earth so that we can have life everlasting.

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart

Luke 2:19

May we ponder these things in our heart as well.

 

 

 

 

Redeemed

 

 

I love this song by Big Daddy Weave. It’s wonderful to know and experience God’s love and to know that He’s not finished with me yet. I fail Him constantly but He’s always faithful.

Redeemed

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be

Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
‘Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be
Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be
Jesus, I’m not who I used to be
‘Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

 

 

 

 

Weary and Burdened

God promises us that if we come to Him, He will give us rest. I take great comfort in this verse. Life has a way of sucking everything we have out of us. Eventually we reach a point where we are so tired, so exhausted that it seems like there’s just no point. But if we turn to Christ, if we run to Him, we’ll find that eternal rest we’ve been looking for.

Verse 29 goes on to say “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”

Jesus wants us to come to Him, to depend on Him, to lean on Him. He isn’t going to force us to do so, however. But if you want to achieve true peace, true comfort then the only way to find that is through Jesus himself. 🙂

It took me years to realize this and now that I’ve found Him, I mean, truly found Him, I find myself wanting to share it with everyone I know.

He will give you rest. True rest. Just turn to Him. He’s there waiting, with arms wide open. 🙂

 

 

 

“If only I could see me as You see me….

….and understand the way that I am loved.”

I don’t know if you have heard this song by Mandisa but it’s beautiful.

“You say lovely, I say broken

I say guilty, You say forgiven.

“Oh I feel lonely, YOu say You’re with me.

We both know it would change everything

If only I believed the truth about me.”

Mandisa has some great songs but this one sticks with me. Time and time again I struggle with why God would choose to love someone like me. And I think we all do that. We all tend to think that our sin is too much for Him to forgive. We aren’t worthy of his love. So why would God choose us?

Because that’s who He is. He’s a merciful God who looks past our insecurities, past our doubts. He loves us unconditionally.

That’s a promise. 🙂

Verse of the day: 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.”

 

Come As You Are

This song by Pocketful of Rocks really speaks to me. It’s not about what your wear or where you are….you can come to Jesus AS YOU ARE!

He’s not mad at you,
And He’s not disappointed.
His grace is greater still
Than all of your wrong choices.

He is full of mercy
And He’s ever kind.
Hear His invitation,
His arms are open wide.

You can come as you are with all your broken pieces,
And all your shameful scars.
The pain you hold in your heart, bring it all to Jesus.
You can come as you are.

Louder than the voice
That whispers “you’re unworthy”,
Hear the sound of love
That tells a different story.

Shattering your darkness
And pushing through the lies,
How tenderly He calls you,
His arms are open wide.

You can come as you are with all your broken pieces,
All your shameful scars.
The pain you hold in your heart, bring it all to Jesus.
You can come as you are.

You can come as you are.

You can come as you with all your broken pieces,
All your shameful scars.
The pain you hold in your heart, bring it all to Jesus.
You can come as you are.

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You see? Jesus loves you. Every single part about you, He loves.  Come to Him.

Matthew 11:28 says “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Jesus doesn’t want you to wait to come to Him until you think you have it together. No, quite the opposite! Come to Him NOW. He’s waiting for you with arms wide open!

If I can pray for you about anything, please just let me know. Leave a comment and I will pray for you!

Our God Reigns Here

I recently discovered John Waller’s music. It’s amazing! Here is one of my favorites!

Our God Reigns Here

Spirit of doubt you have no place here
I command you to leave in Jesus’ name
Spirit of fear you have no place here
I command you to leave in Jesus’ name
You’re not welcome here so go, just go

Spirit of doubt you have no place here
I command you to leave in Jesus’ name
Envy and jealousy you have no place here
I command you to leave in Jesus’ name
Go back from whence you came

‘Cause our God reigns here, our God reigns here
We claim this ground in Jesus’ name
‘Cause our God reigns

Our God reigns here, our God reigns here
The battle’s won, have no fear
‘Cause God reigns here, He reigns here our God

Anger and rage, guilt and shame
I command you to leave in Jesus’ name
Depression, anxiety, addiction, infirmity
I command you to leave in Jesus’ name
Oh, go back from whence you came

‘Cause our God reigns here, our God reigns here
We claim this ground in Jesus’ name
‘Cause our God reigns

Our God reigns here, our God reigns here
The battle’s won, have no fear
‘Cause God reigns here

There’s no doubt He has overcome the world
And God reigns here
There’s no doubt He has overcome the world

‘Cause our God reigns here, our God reigns here
We claim this ground in Jesus’ name
‘Cause our God reigns

Our God reigns here, our God reigns here
The battle’s won, have no fear
The battle’s won, have no fear
The battle’s won, have no fear
‘Cause God reigns here

There’s no doubt He has overcome the world
And God reigns here
There’s no doubt He has overcome the world
And our God reigns

A New Me

I have made huge decisions in my life as of late. The most important one is to fall in love with Christ. I have had nothing but a lukewarm relationship with Him and y’all,….let me tell you something…..it stunk. I only cried out to Jesus when it was convenient for me. I only praised Him when it was something pertaining to ME. Basically, I was using Him. IF that’s even possible. I was being selfish.

Well that’s changing. I have rededicated my life to Him and am working hard on becoming a woman of God. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will I be tested? Of course I will! But it will all be worth it in the end.

And now it’s time to take the focus off of myself and look outward to those who don’t know Christ as their personal Savior. I want people to see Jesus in me. I want them to question what’s the difference in me. I want to be ON FIRE FOR CHRIST!

So this blog from now on will be my journey in my walk with Christ. I don’t even know who reads this blog but hopefully it will be spread so others can see Jesus in me.

Because in the end…..it will have all been worth it. 🙂