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Heartbreak

Jesus, Friend of Sinners…break our hearts for what breaks Yours…

Casting Crowns, “Jesus Friend of Sinners

My heart breaks so much for the family of George Floyd. What happened to him was downright inexcusable. It never should have happened. I can’t even imagine what his family is going through.

I’m struggling to write this. I am not trying to start a debate on this. I just know that this never should have happened. We need to be praying for his family. They need our support in all of this.

I’m not going to even begin talking about the “protests” that are happening all around the country because what is important right now is how this family is going to get through all of this.

We cannot pray in love and live in hate and still think we are worshiping God.”

A.W. Tozer

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Stir Crazy!

I’m going completely stir crazy! Oh don’t get me wrong…I have plenty I could be doing. I have tons of books to read, movies to watch, rooms to clean…but I think the idea of me having to stay inside is driving me absolutely insane! It’s the thought that I CAN’T go anywhere that is making me crazy.

The mall I work at has officially closed for the time being. All non essential businesses are closed. I filed for unemployment but it might take some time on that.

So tell me…what are you all doing to pass the time?

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Awkward….

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Yes, yes it is! I sneezed at work the other day and immediately turned to coworkers and exclaimed, “It’s just allergies, I promise!” LOL

The pollen on my car is crazy ridiculous! My eyes are itchy, watering…I’m sneezing like crazy.

Ahhh, welcome to allergy season in good ole Hampton Roads!

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Sick

I went to Urgent Care last night because I was feeling miserable. I had been feeling “off” the past couple of days but I woke up feeling worse..body aches, chills, sore throat.

They did the swab tests and everything. Good news, I don’t have the flu or strep (or coronavirus)  but I do have a viral infection with pharyngitis. I feel awful.

How’s your Friday going?

 

 

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Are My Beliefs MY Beliefs?

Y’all, I’m feeling deep tonight.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and wondering and reading about what I believe.

Satan is doing a number on me, causing me to doubt my salvation.

March 16 will be 17 years that I accepted Christ as my Savior. But what I’ve been wondering about lately is whether I acted on FEELINGS when I went to the altar or was it a true salvation experience.

And also….are my beliefs really my beliefs or are these beliefs what I was TAUGHT to believe growing up?

I asked my mom this question and she responded with: “Well what DO you believe?” I told her, “I believe Christ died for my sins and he is alive today! He will be coming again one day for his children.”

See, the problem I struggle with is sin. (Of course we ALL struggle with sin) but why do I continue to commit this one particular sin? Like Paul says in Romans,

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate, I do.

Romans 7:15

I know that just because I am a Christian doesn’t mean I won’t fall sometimes. I get that. We’re fallen creatures and sin can get the best of us.

*sigh* I have so much going on in my mind. My thoughts are racing like crazy and I’m half wondering if I’m getting ready to go into a relapse with my bipolar disorder. My thoughts are everywhere. I can’t sit still.

See? That’s another issue I have. How can one be a bipolar Christian? Doesn’t one negate the other?

The bottom line is this: Do I believe what I believe? I realize that probably doesn’t make sense…lol. But are my beliefs actually what I believe or is it just beliefs I was TAUGHT to believe my entire life.

I’m struggling tonight, y’all. If you wouldn’t mind saying a prayer for me that Satan will LEAVE and stop trying to make me doubt my salvation.

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Pray for Nashville!

Y’all please pray for Nashville! They were hit by a tornado late last night/early this morning. Nashville is my second home! I lived there from 2002 to 2008.

The damage is devastating. I have so many friends who still live in the area and thanks to the Facebook “Mark Yourself Safe’ feature, I was able to see that they are all okay! 

So far I read that 22 people have died. Such a sad, tragic day. I can only imagine the horror of waking up in terror at the large freight train sound of the tornado and having to find shelter quick. 

I’ve never experienced a tornado. They scare me so much. 

Continue to pray for the city and for the people who have lost loved ones and have lost their homes. 

#NashvilleStrong

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Agree to Disagree

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

Romans 14:19

As believers, we aren’t always going to agree on everything. And that’s why we should just “agree to disagree” sometimes when the issue at hand is leading nowhere.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this. For I have decided to leave Prevail Church. I will not go into details as to why but realize this, this decision did not come lightly. After careful consideration and prayer and digging into God’s Word, leaving is the decision I have ultimately made.

So for the next several weeks/months I will be visiting other churches in the area to find one that I feel God is leading me to.

I am leaving peaceably. I have no ill will towards any person at Prevail. This was just a decision that had to be made.

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Special Prayer Request

I need all you prayer warriors out there to please pray for me right now. There is a lot of drama going on with my church and it’s really breaking my heart. It’s literally tearing blood relatives apart.

I just don’t know how much more of this I can take! It hurts. So bad.