Why Is It So Hard?

I have all but lost my desire for writing. Now that I’m back to work, it seems I have let my writing fall by the wayside. After I get home from work I’m in so much pain from standing all day that I have no interest in writing.

I’m going to be honest with you all for a moment…..I’m struggling. With life, with my relationship with God, with just about everything. I haven’t lost my faith. I still believe but I’m finding it hard to set aside time to spend with God.

I’m human. We all are. We have flaws and always will. But what happens when you lose your desire for God? Why is it so hard to follow Him? I see others who are so devoted to God and have a deep relationship with Him and I wonder why I can’t seem to find that sort of relationship. I know it’s available, I know it’s there. I thought I used to have it.  Maybe I never have.

I feel like a fraud. This blog is supposed to be me telling others about Christ and His love for us. And here I am, struggling. I’ve abandoned my blog in recent weeks.

I know we all struggle. As long as we are on this earth we will struggle from time to time.

I do know that God is still working in me. As I write this, I’m listening to Mandisa’s song, Unfinished. If you haven’t heard it I definitely advise you to check it out. Here’s some of the lyrics,

Not scared to say it
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy

‘Cause that world I painted
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down

But I picked myself back up
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me

He started something good
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished
I’m just unfinished
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished

I know God is not finished with me yet.  And I know if you are struggling right now, like I am, that God isn’t finished with you yet either. Keep your head up and focused on Him.

That’s what I am doing.

But why is it so hard???

Here is another song that is speaking to me right now. It’s called Need You Now by Plumb. Such a powerful song!

Well, everybody’s got a story to tell
And everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
‘Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn’t plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
God please take this?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

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I don’t know where you are right now in your walk with God, whether you’re struggling, as I am right now, or if things are going great for you right now but just remember this: God is not finished with you and has great plans for you.

I honestly believe this though I’m struggling right now.

I just wish it wasn’t so hard.

An Apology

I would like to apologize to you all who read my posts. I haven’t been writing much lately and it just feels like I’ve lost my desire to write. I want to get it back but I don’t know how to do it.

I have been having issues with my fibromyalgia and not having my Lyrica for several weeks, leaving me in pain. I finally was able to get my medication but it will take a week or two to fully get back in my system.

I want to be completely honest with you: I’m struggling. Spiritually, Mentally, Physically. It’s so hard being a bipolar Christian.

This blog is supposed to be about me telling people about Jesus and lately I haven’t been doing that. I feel like a fraud.

I don’t want to shut down this blog. I want so badly to get back into the swing of things and be the person I was when I first started this blog.

So I’m going to dig deep into Scripture and pray that God will show me what I am supposed to do.

Pray for me, if you don’t mind.

Be Anxious For Nothing

My friend Stephen over at Fractured Faith Blog posted about being a Christian and struggling with worry. You can read his post here

I commented with this:

I’m the world’s worst worrier. I have this one fear that lately has been choking me and I end up crying myself to sleep over it.
I know the Bible tells us not to worry and I try my best to live by what the Word says but worry and anxiety are so intertwined with my being. It’s a daily struggle but I know the Lord has my back and will get me through this.
I’ve been focusing on Philippians 4:6-7 to get me through this one particular fear: “Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

To worry is to be human. But the Bible clearly tells us not to worry. Its easier said than done, right?

I am struggling with a particular fear that just won’t leave me. No matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, Satan knows its a weakness of mine and ever so slyly will slip this fear into my mind day after day until it consumes me. Until it becomes all I think about.  Until I begin crying myself to sleep, obsessing over it.

So how do I combat it day after day? I focus on Scripture and spend as much time with God as I can. I fight it every single day. It’s a daily fight.

I will always struggle with worry. But I won’t let it defeat me. And neither should you.

When you find yourself worrying….when a particular fear threatens to take over….just call on the Lord. Cry out to him. He longs to take care of us. 

Overcoming Worry: Turning Fear into Faith

I don’t know about you but I have a huge tendency to worry about every little thing.

Well last night I came across a booklet from Discovery Series about overcoming worry and turning that worry into faith. It was very helpful and I’d like to share a little bit of what I read. 🙂

Worry Defined:

Worry is a feeling of uneasiness, apprehension or dread usually related to negative thoughts of something that may happen in the future. Such possibilities may be important to think about, but those thoughts are healthy only if we are able or willing to do something positive about them.

Worry defeats us when it replaces wise action or needed rest with fearful emotion—David Egner

How Should We Deal With Worry?

Read. Pray. Trust. Obey

1. Read the Bible–something to feast on
2. Pray–someone to feast with
3. Trust-trusting God and releasing our worries to Him
4. Obey-Obey God in the things we CAN control

 

How Can We Put our Worries to Work for Us?

• Let Worry Turn Our Attention to God
  • He is everywhere
  • He knows everything
  • He is all-powerful
  • He will never leave or forsake us
• Let Worry Turn our Attention to the Words of Jesus
  • Matthew 6:25-34
    • the opportunities of heaven are more important than the potential losses of life
• Turn Worry into Prayer
  • Philippians 4:6-7
• A Practical Approach to  Worry
  • Accept What We Cannot Change
  • Give to God What We Cannot Change

“Being burdened down with care can reflect a lack of trust in Him.”

We just have to remember that God is in control and He knows what is best for our lives. When we find ourselves worrying, turn that worry into a prayer and let God know your concerns.